New Years Blues

So It’s now New years eve and I feel like crap. I can’t get the ex off my damn brain. The sad part is that I have been getting dates and offers for dates left and right. Now I am not bragging at all. I am not some hot guy or great catch. It just seems that I am that nice guy that most women love to meet. Not date just meet mind you. Yea but for some reason my mind keeps going back to thinking of her. Hell I really can’t stand it. I am trying to be the strong one and say I don’t care and let her do all the crap she wants it doesn’t bother me. But as I am not sleeping and really can’t eat I feel like some love sick puppy. I so just want to get on with my life without her or get it settled and not have to deal with it any more. I know tonight is going to be the worst of it because it’s new years. OH Damn I sound like a wuss. I should just take my nads and hand them over I don’t think I need them any more.

Christmas fun

Wow, what a weekend. I now remember why I hate going out with my family. I don’t know how many of you are from a big family but my family must be part rabbit because all they do is have babies. On both sides of my family there are no less then 200 people on each side. That gives you an ideal of how many people I have to deal with at a time on holidays. Now getting that many people together at one time is really not a good thing. What makes it even worst is that there is always booze around. This is a family that doesn’t need booze under the best of reasons. So the booze starts to flow and the show begins. First there is the Evil aunt that hates anyone that was born after 1965. Why? I couldn’t even begin to tell you. I know that she just has something against youth. So I talking about work (video games) gets nothing but a shrug and a roll of the eyes. She is the easiest to deal with. You just walk away and don’t talk to her. Then there is my uncle that uses to be in the army. Oh man you get him drinking and he starts reliving the good old days. Oh it’s not like he has seen any action because he got kicked out of the army for being drunk all the time. So the good old days are all about basic training. Now picture this. This man is maybe 5’8 and 195. I am 6’1” and 250. For some reason he finds it a good ideal to try and take me down. Now my parents who I love very much and most of the time listen to for advice tell me. Knock him out he won’t do that anymore. Now this is family and they want me to just knock out my uncle. Oh now this is fun. At this point I see it as time to leave. And that is how my Christmas with the family went. Oh well.

So this is the way things are??

Well it’s been an interesting two days. Why is it that whenever we need something done it will always cost more then what we were told it would be. I knew that I need to have my brakes worked on. But damn it cost me about a hundred dollars more then what I was told. Why? Because one of my rotors was beyond being able to fix. Damn damn damn, why didn’t I get them done sooner? OH yea no money. So as it goes another Christmas gone to hell because of something out of my control. Well I guess I will just have to hope that next year is something different.
Now lets talk about the date that I went on Thursday. Well lets just say it was a strange date. I got there a little early and went to the bookstore right next door. Man I have to say sometimes it is good to be single. My god there was so many hot women in this bookstore. I am going to be hanging in there a lot more that is for sure. Now I am to be meeting her at 7:30 and I get to the bar at 7. She shows up at about a quarter to 8 and she is everything that she said that she is. Her picture didn’t do her justice. Well that is the end of the really good stuff. My god this girl is just loud and likes to make a scene. LOL From the moment that she sat down she just let it all out there. All I could think is damn I hope no one I know sees or hears what this woman is talking about. Now I like to be up front with people but wow. Nothing was held back for me with this girl. After the bar and her embarrassing the waiter to the point that he was blushing. After the bar we went to the same bookstore that I was at earlier in the night. Now this girl had sex on the brain and all she wanted to do was go over to the sex department and look at the books. LOL Hot damn maybe this was going to be a good night. OH but wait she starts to get loud in the bookstore. Now I am blushing and hell I don’t blush. I mean nothing quiet about this girl at all. The best part is she goes over to the African American interested department of the store. Then she decides that she should show me her best getto girl impression. Now as a 5’8” white girl it really didn’t play well. It was now time to leave and end the date. Second date? I don’t really think so. I left it with a hug and saying I had a good time and that was about it.

Vacation time.

Today is my Friday since I don’t have to be back at work until the 3rd of the New Year. My new outlook on life is working so far. With a few lapses in contacting the ex just to hear her voice I think. Damn this is sad I think I am worst then a woman sometimes. Well it’s time to put her out of my head and have some fun. I got a date with a woman I met online. This will be our first meeting so we will see how it goes. So far she seems like a very cool girl. I’ve seen a picture of her and she’s cute too. So this should be a very good night at least that is my hope. I will have to let you all know if it’s going to be the date from hell or a good date. See you soon.

A better outlook on life

Ok, It took a friend to tell me a sad story to take my mind off of how much I hate the holidays and how disappointed in people that I am. I had a friend call me today and tell me how she was going to spend the day. She is going into work for an hour and then taken her son to visit his little sister. Now they are going to visit her at the cemetery. Yes my friends little girl died 3 days after she gave birth to her. It’s been some years since this has happened but she still feels the lost and the pain of having that child die on her. Now really how in the world could I be upset with my life when I know of people that are going through life with so much less and so many other problems? My problems seem so small when my friend told me this. I told her I am sorry for her lost but that it put how I was feeling to so much shame. I have my health I have a job and a place to live. Compared to the people that got caught in Katrina and the other hurricanes I have the greatest life. So from this point on I am going to put all the conceited uncaring people behind me and move forward to live my life and enjoy every single day that I have because you never know what tomorrow will bring. We will see how long this last. I hope it gets me through the holidays.

Hell of a Weekend

Man this has been one hell of a weekend. It seems my roommate decided that this weekend would be a good time to move. Mind you we are not really on that great of speaking terms but hell the mention of moving should have come up sometime in the last couple of weeks. So this weekend was filled with packing and moving to a new place. It’s a nice new place. Hell I might even move into an apartment right next to the complex since it’s the same place. Just lower priced.
Oh and on another note the ex called me right out of the blue. WTF? She even called me right before she was going out on a date. I don’t know how to feel about this. Part of me is pissed off that she would call me before going out with someone else. The other part was happy to hear from her. Damn You women drive me insane.

Why I hate Christmas

So ok another day goes by and we get closer and closer to Christmas. I don’t know if I mention this but I hate Christmas. I don’t know if it stems from when I was little and having to do the church plays where I had to learn a speech? Or if it has something to do with the fact that I may have had one or two good Christmas’s since I have been out of high school so many years ago. I think the major thing is I don’t have relationships that last to the Christmas season. I think most of the women that I date think like men. They dump you right at the holidays and then afterward they like you again. I have never understood this type of thinking. My last relationship (if you can call it that) was with an ex girlfriend that found me 2 and half years after we lost contact. At first I wasn’t all that sure that I wanted to continue what I knew would be the breaking of my heart. Well it turns out I was right and my heart was broken like fine china thrown against a wall. Maybe I should give you all some details about this whole thing. R and I have a long history going back to when we were 20 years old. We met at a night club and really hit it off. Jump 3 years later and we are going thru a rough patch and she cheats on me with an old boyfriend that always treated her like crap. We break up and try to do the whole lets be friends thing. Eleven month later an out of the blue phone call to her and I learn that she just had a baby boy. WHAT?? I say, and then I start to count and say wait a min. From what I was told and she still says to this day I am not the father. Fast forward to earlier this year. She emails me on the addictive website myspace. Out of no where I get an email saying hello and it’s me I am single now and have been looking for you. Again another WTF moment. We take it slow for about 4 months just because she is just out of the marriage to said asshole she cheated on me with. Turns out he was the ass that everyone was telling her he was. Every thing was good with us for about 2 months of the 4. Next thing I know I am lower then dog pooh and I have no reasons why. The only reason that I was told is because people change. Nothing more nothing less just that. OH damn I have no clue what the hell happened and now I am on the “I hate women” kick. It all was seem that christmas is the worst season to try and get to know someone. Trying not to be but damn it is hard. Oh well I think that I will just be alone for a while or lots and lots of meaningless sex. I think I might just have to go the second route.

Off to a good start

Ok I am off to a great start for a blog. This is my second try at it. My first try got erased by me. Yea this is very smart for someone that works in computers. Well lets see if we can get this started again and do it right this time. Well where do I start? My name is Brian, at least that is what I will be telling all of you. I am a 34 year old guy that has never been married and don't have any kids. I work with computers as I have already said and believe it or not I don't live at home with my parents. Well not anymore at least. I live in Calif down in orange county to be exact. Believe me it's nothing like the TV shows. At least for the most part. I am a single guy but looking for the right woman to make an honest man out of me. Hell I am just looking for a woman that doesn't like to ground up a mans heart. Damn didn't think I was still that bitter about it all. I am starting a blog for the simple fact of I am bored. Well that and also I have spent the last couple of months reading different blogs and notice that it's a good way to keep sane. I see that people just get out what they are feeling and that it helps them get through the day.
A little bit more about me. As I said I work with computers. To tell the truth about it I work in the video game industry. I have been doing this for about 8 years now and I love every minute of it. Well there have been times that I don't love it but that is more to deal with stupid people then the work. Back in march I was laid off and 10 months later I have finally gotten a permanent job where I can pay the bills again. Hot damn no more mac and cheese. Yea the job market is rough in Calif even rougher if you are in video games. But all things come to those that wait and have mass murder on the mind. But the is a story for another time. Well that is all I can think about to tell you about me for right now. There will be much more to come in the near future seeing as it's the holidays and my family does nothing if not come up with great stories for me to tell.
My blog even through it says dating blues will not be only about dating. It will just be me talking about my life and all the crap that I put myself through and what I let others put me through. And believe you me I have lots and lots of crap to deal with.