They won't Convict me

I am going to jail. I am going to jail because I am going to kill the guy I work with. This numb nuts has got to be one of the rudest pains in the asses I have ever met in my life. This is a guy that thinks that hey knows every damn thing and that he is the funniest guy to tell a joke. My god I have never gone to work and wanted to smack someone so much. Just a very hard bitch slap that might knock some teeth loose. Most people that have common sense would know that if you are going to be on a personal call to take it outside or somewhere everyone in the office can’t hear you. This ass munch will sit on the phone with his girlfriend for at least an half an hour up to four hours. Believe me I have seen him do it be on the phone for four hours. Damn and they are not talking about a damn thing. NOTHING. The numb nuts decided that he should get an ear piece that he didn’t have to hold the phone up to his ear anymore. Now he looks like an idiot talking to himself as well as being an asshole. Oh it gets better; he thinks that everything that comes out of his mouth is the funniest thing since Richard Pryor. It is neither funny nor even close to witty. He bothers the guy that is supervising us and will not let up. In any other business this guy would have been fired a long time ago. I have to wear headphones just so I can hope not to hear this idiot every few moments yelling “god damn” or “this is bullshit” or the one that I love the most “This game is shit”. Yea that is why I will be in jail facing murder charges.

On another from I hate people that set up dates but then flake out on you. I sometimes use a website called www.Craigslist.org . Now a person can find really anything that they wanted on this site. I mean damn near anything. Well I found what I though would be a nice female to go out with on there. We make plans to meet up for dinner on Sat and the next thing I know “something came up”. Yea ok whatever I can live with that I was in the area that I knew and could have fun anyway. Then she emails me that she would like to go out last night and that she was sorry about the mix up. So I drive about 20 miles to meet up with this girl. Now that really isn’t that fair in LA it’s kind of a short drive but damn it’s traffic. Yea you got it she flakes again. OH hell now I know this chick is a flake. Ok she is off the list no more happy time for her. Ok I am done with my rant now. Time to think of a way to hide the body.

Never giving up my toys.

Ok I have been really really bored for about a week. And when we are bored we either watch a lot of TV, Movies or we get into too much trouble. Now by “we” I mean single adult males with no one to say “you know that just might be a bad ideal.” The guys will know what I am talking about. When that little voice inside your head tells you it might be good to see just how big of an explosion I can make by tying these firecrackers together? Oh yea good times. Well since I didn’t feel like going to the hospital and explaining how I lost most of my right hand. I decided that I would just go and pick up some movies. Really bad movies just so I can go into my watching experience knowing the movies would be bad. Ladies don’t try to understand just go with it, men sometimes love bad movies. But back to why I am writing this. Well it would just happen that from a lot of these movies come some of the best lines that we can live our lives by. There is “no matter where you are that’s where you are.” Buckaroo banzai. Or one of my favorites “I am here to Kick ass and chew bubble gum. And I am all out of Bubble gum.” Now the line that most hit me this weekend wasn’t from one of the movies that I rented this weekend. But it just kind of stuck in my head and I haven’t been able to get it out. Hell I don’t even know just which movie it was from. But the line goes when I was a child I played with childish toys. When I grew up I put away my toys and became a man.” Now I know I may not have gotten the whole saying right. But you get the damn ideal and fuck I am writing this. I do know it was said by Matthew Lillard so there go suck that. Now I though about this long and hard. Why the hell would I put away my toys just because I have a little extra hair in some places on my body? I work in the video game industry and I have toys all over my damn office. And I am the normal one here. I am of the mind that while I may be more responsible I will never fully and really grow up. I love my toys and while the toys may change I will always have something that “should be for a younger guy”. I mean hell I scuba, ride motorcycles, ski, and just enjoy life. I don’t see one thing wrong with being a little childish, sometimes it’s even better.

Monkey's everywhere.

Wow I have noticed a couple of terms come to light in the last couple of weeks. Both of them I would say kind of fit me at this moment in life. One is of them is “love Monkey”. You may have heard this one lately as it’s a new show on TV. But from what I can gather a love monkey is someone that jumps from relationship to relationship and just can’t settle down. Damn a show about my life. Oh hell why the hell didn’t I think this up and sell it to a network. Hell, I know I am screwed up I have dealt with it and I have moved on. And the other line that I heard on the TV that kind of fit my life at the moment. At least some of it is “hank it like a monkey in a mango tree.” Ok any man that tells you that he doesn’t do this has no hands or is paralyzed from the neck down. I am the first one to admit sometimes you just don’t want to deal with the drama that comes along with another person and just need to do the job yourself. Yea yea I am insane but insane is what I like to be.

Well off on another tirade this has been a long week that I am not in the mood to deal with. Why can’t I just from my own country and have all my subjects bow to my will? I wouldn’t be that bad a leader. I would only want a tribute twice a month. Each family would just have to give up their first born daughter twice a year. And before the man can have his wife on their wedding night I would need to be first. Now is this just too much to ask for a loyal subject? I think not. It would just be the cost of living in Brianland.

BEER BEER

I love beer beer beer beer that is now my new song. Now I say this because beer seems to be the drink of choice now days. Last night I go to my bar like I always do on Fridays. Why? Because I love talking to the cute women and damn the beer is cheap. Now I am saying all this because as of now I am out of my damn funk. At least mostly out of my funk. I still hate lying backstabbing bitches but I am not as hung up on them. I now have two dates and I get to go somewhere I really want to go. I am going to go see Cirque du Soleil show Quidam. I haven’t seen this show in over 9 years. I loved it back then and I am going to love it this time. Now I understand what everyone has been telling me the last couple of weeks there are so many fish in the sea and damn it there are a lot of them. I am finding more and more and enjoying my time doing some fishing.

I love the pain (the bad penis post)

I have made up my mind. I love pain and can’t wait till I have someone to put me through more. Ok so maybe I don’t love pain but you would think so if you watched my life from the outside. As I read in someone else’s blog, when will I ever learn? If a woman cheats with you she will cheat on you. I had a friend tell me this a long time ago and it’s never really click with me. I knew of a female that started telling me that she can’t have a relationship that last. Now I know for a fact that she cheated on her husband while she was married. I know also for a fact that she cheated on the guy that she left when she got together with her husband. She left her husband and started seeing something else and then would still sleep with her ex behind the new guys back. On top of all this the new guy was cheating on his girlfriend at the time anyway. Now all this got me thinking. How the hell can someone that would do a quarter of this even think that they can have a good relationship? This is a person that from all indications cheats without giving it a second though. I once asked her about it and then she didn’t see a damn thing wrong with it. But hated that her husband had cheated on her at one time or another. Now my problem is that I started falling for this lying cheating bitch. And I use that in a loving term. Why oh why is this, the type of female that I seem to go for as I get older? Has my penis taken over my mind completely so that my brain doesn’t listen to the warning signs that this is going to go really really bad? But nnnooooo I run full steam right into women like this. I am going to from now on have my female friends decide on the females I date. They all seem to know what will fail and what will not fail. I am going to have to punish my penis next time it hooks me up with another one of these crazy women. Bad penis Bad penis.

Just venting a bit.

Would someone tell me what the hell is up with depression? I mean I had a good weekend. I went out drinking and met up with a few very nice females that I can have some good times with. But damn I can’t get over this depression I have my friends that try to cheer me up and take me out to have some fun. But as of Monday morning I just can’t shake this damn feeling. I mean is it to the point where I want to do something really bad to myself? Nah it’s not I understand that to do something like that would make it even harder for everyone else in my family. This is one of the reasons that I write this blog. It’s a very cheap way to have therapy without going and sitting on that couch. Not that I have anything against therapy just I like being able to say anything I want and people not really knowing who is the person on the other end. So in the end I guess we all live life and it has its ups and downs. What makes us stronger is how we deal with those ups and downs. As of right now I am dealing with it by writing and putting my thoughts down. By voicing them and letting them out because I can tell you this much, I have one ulcer from keeping things bottled up. No reason to get another one and then I would really wipe out my chances of staying healthy.

I can't believe there are people like this.

This is weird I have been meaning to write this story for a couple of days now. This is a story that really doesn’t have much to deal with me other then I know the girl that it happened to. Well I have a friend that I talk to from time to time. She was a booty call a while back but we fell into the friend’s zone which I have no problem with. Now about a month ago my friend told me she was going to get married. I almost broke my jaw when it hit the ground. This is one of the most single women I have every known. She was married before and would never be married again or so she said. Now this was going to be a fast wedding and then she was going to move to New Jersey to live with this guy. Now me being the guy I am didn’t believe any of this crap would work, why? Because I never think that way. Now her ex is a cop and kind of is the same way I am. He ran a background check on this guy. This guy told my friend that he was in France a couple of years ago. He left France because he missed his son or so he told my friend. The real reason it would seems is that he got kicked out of the country because he molested two 12 year old girls. And they gave him the choice of leaving or going to jail for a very long time. My response to this was Oh damn you have got to be kidding me. Nope she didn’t really believe it but decided to ask him is there “ANYTHING” that she should know. Well I guess he though he might have been caught seems this nutcase has a thing for young girls. He likes to go to local colleges and look at the girls on campus. He just went on and on about all this to my friend and she freaked out. Oh and what makes matters worst she has 2 young girls and listening to this guy go on about this she was seeing red. It was all I could do not to say I told you so but damn it’s very very sad that these people are out there. And he had the nerve to tell my friend that because she is bi that maybe they can go out together and pick up on girls together. Now I am up for being kinky and all and this girl really is kinky but not this f’n kinky. Even she wouldn’t go this far. My god I will tell you they need to put guys like this under the jail and make sure no one lets them out.

Friday night boozing.

Ok so I have noticed something lately. I really can’t eat anymore. Not because I am getting fat but because I have an ulcer that doesn’t allow me to keep food down. I eat and get sick within 20 minutes. Now that I have painted that very nice picture for all of you . I have to tell you about my night. After work I go to my bar planning on just staying there for a little while before I go to a movie. Yes alone, sometimes that is the best way. Well that is what I tell myself most of the time. I get to my bar and have a great time. I walk in and get all my hugs from the girls. I’m telling you if cheers had these women in it the show would still be on the air. I get so wrapped up that I miss the start of my movie. Oh well. I hang out for a while before a friend calls me up and asks me to stop by his bar. It’s just opened up so I go and give my support. It’s a very cool bar not as good as the bar I just left but hey it’s a friend so I hang out. There is this girl there that is also a friend of the owner. We get to talking and she is getting drunker and drunker. I am not in the mood to hook up but hey I am male and when it happens it happens. Well yea in my dreams we just talk most of the night and she puts her number into my cell phone. I tell her I’m going to call and I know for a fact that I am. You know you have to give it the 2 day treatment. LOL Man what a night it took my mind off of crap that I though was important and made me think. (Funny how we seem to think clearer when we drink.) There are so many other women out there. If one wants to play games and not be up front with you why deal with her? I seem to be a good looking guy that gets along with everyone. Hell I am one hell of a catch. Damn I so have to keep telling myself that.

The Pain The Pain.

Ok its official I think that all woman are insane. If not all then just the women that I meet. I mean is it so hard to tell the guy that you are dating what you mean when you say something? Why is it that the women that I date belong wrapped in a long coat with buckles in the back? Here is a better question why the hell do I not run at the first sign of the escapees? By now I should know the signs and what to look out for. I know I can run faster then they can. I also know I am bigger then they are so they can’t tackle me as I run away. Do I like pain that much that I have to put myself in this position each and every time? Well hell it would seem like it so if anyone else would like to kick me while I am down go ahead I think I am almost numb now. T

Why I hate some people

Now this is a New Year and it’s off to the same start as last year. Man this is not looking up at all. Well other than the other night that is. Well I have been really out of work since last March. I had gotten on with a bad company and they had no clue as to what they were doing. My field is very small so there are not that many jobs in the position that I am going for. So I have had 10 months of interviews and sending out my resumes to companies. So at the begging of December I get 3 interviews for companies that I would love to work for. Two are in my field and what I want to do and one is with a company I would want to work for. Two are in California and one is in Boston. Now at this point in my search I am going through the motions. I try to put my heart into it and I just can’t do it anymore. I fly out to Boston for one job and it goes very well. I just don’t know if I would want to move to Boston for a job. But when I get there I love it. It’s so different then California and I loved it. That was on Monday, I was back in California on Tuesday night and I had another interview on Wednesday. That when great. It was a phone interview and I hate phone interviews since you can’t judge the person on line body language. Oh Thursday I had another interview and this was going to be the third interview with this company and this is the one I really really wanted. I go in there early and I am ready I have my interview down pat. This week has been on long interview so at this point I know just want to say. Lets just say I nail that interview but more on that later in this story. So the next week starts and I am for sure I didn’t get the Boston job. Not for anything I did but more from the fact that another studio closed down right before I went to Boston for my interview. So they went with someone that was closer and didn’t want to pay to move me out to Boston. This I can understand and when I found out that the other studio was closing I kind of guess that my chances had slimmed a bit on getting this job. Now the job that I had the phone interview calls me back and wants to meet me face to face. Hot damn one door closes another one opens up. I have a face to face interview set up for Friday and I am going to be ready for it. Now it’s Friday and I am getting ready for my interview and I am about an hour from heading to the interview. When I get a phone call. It’s the job that I really really want. They want to hire me and bring me on. HOT damn you can’t believe how happy I now am. After 10 months of looking I have found a good job that I can be proud of. This was on Dec 8th that they called me to tell me I was hired. It is now Jan 4th 4 days shy of a full month since I got the call. I have yet to start my first day. I have been promised a offer letter for the last 3 weeks that will detail all the “perks” of my new job. I have yet to get that letter. I sent them an email about a week ago and what I was told doesn’t make me very happy. I was told that the founder of the company is flying out to close the deal for the project that I was to be hired on to work on. And that they are waiting on closing this deal to bring me on. WHAT the hell? Why the hell didn’t you say you were not even sure you had the project before you wanted to hire me? I don’t even know if I want to work for a company that can’t even hire a person right. I mean damn if I am looking for a job and interviewing with you that must mean I need a job. And if you tell me that I am hired I am ready to start don’t have me waiting around for you to sign a deal. That deal should have been signed before you even placed the ad that you were looking for someone. I am going to fly off the handle about this one. I don’t know what the hell to do anymore.

Damn 3 days later.

Damn how the hell can one person drink so much? One day I am going to have to learn that after you can’t see straight anymore it’s not time to put down the bottle and stop drinking. Well since my last post lets see what happened. My ex called me, I didn’t call her back but she did call me to wish me a happy new year and to be safe while out that night. And for some reason that was the opening to teach her and my liver a lesson for telling me what to do. So my best friend and I go to our local bar. Now this is one of those bikini bars. Not a strip club but bars where the waitress wears very little like bikinis or their underwear. Cheap booze and pretty women to look at and hang out with what a way to spend a night. Now my boy and I go to this bar where the waitresses know our names. We walk in and it’s like cheers all over again. Now I have had a crush on one of the girls for a while but didn’t really think I was getting anywhere with her outside of a little flirting. Tonight seemed to be a little different. I don’t know if it was the amount of booze she was drinking or the fact that it was the holiday season. But she was friendlier then she has ever been before. A lot friendlier, so at the end of the night I dropped my boy off and made my way over to her place. Damn am I glad it was close. Otherwise I was really going to get pulled over. Yea I was drunk driving I wasn't that proud of it. But sex and booze does very weird things to a mans mind. And damn she was a very very sexy woman. After getting breakfast and saying good bye to my sexy bed mate. I go on my way home where I relive everything I ate that morning in the worst possible way. I know not a very good image but hell I had to relive it so should you. But that didn’t teach me a lesson I need more beer. My next door neighbor decided that this would be a good time to have a party. So being a good host he invites the neighbors because if they are partying with you, you can’t get into any trouble. And hell I didn’t learn anyway my liver will grow back. So today I am back at work and I have the worst headache I have had in a long time. Was it worth it? I will let you know when I see my little sexy friend again.