On a serious note

This has been an interesting week. I have been trying all week to put into words about my weekend. On one hand I had a very good weekend and it could have been fun. Had a few funny things happen to me so this post would have been funny. Then again I also had a few other things go not so well. So this post will be about that instead. I need to get this off my chest. I went to visit my parents this weekend. Now I love my parents with all my heart but it’s getting harder and harder when I visit them. My Mother has MS, Multiple Sclerosis. She has had it for about 20 years at this point. It’s very very hard to watch my mother who at one point was a very active woman degenerate into a bedridden woman. It’s too the point where my Mother is maybe 90 pounds if a pound. She has no control over her body. It’s a chore for her to talk and My Father has to feed her for the most part. I remember the fun we use to have going camping, to the park or even just going out for a drive. I sat down and had Dinner with them and my Father noticed that I got kind of upset watching my mother eat. It really did upset me to sit back and watch this and not say something. Mostly because at this point she only has about 10% of control over her left hand. If she was left handed this wouldn’t be all that big of a deal but since she is right handed it’s all but useless. She can’t grab a fork or bring the food up to her mouth even though she tries. It’s really hard to watch her and even see that this is the same woman that I grew up with. It just makes me wish I could be a better person and not let it effect me as much as it does. I do cherish the time that I have my parents and just having them here. It just makes it sad sometimes never knowing when and if that call will come in saying that she is no longer with us. To be the eldest son is hard sometimes that is for damn sure.