Stop being an Ass

I am a lucky little shit I till you that much. Two interesting things happened to me over the last couple of weeks. The first was on Easter. We decide to go visit my parents in the armpit of California. The city I speak of is Hemet. If no one knows where that is it’s in the middle of the deserts. It’s wear our old people go to die. Well while there, my father goes into the story about how he use to work at the playboy mansion. Yes you heard me right my dad use to work at the Playboy Mansion. Oh man the stories that he came up with just flipped my lid. As a matter of fact my fiancé even saying wow. But to end the day she tells me “Oh it all makes sense now. You are just like your Father.” I would have tried to deny it but I can’t. LOL what can I really say that would have made her wrong?
For some reason I can be an ass. I know this I try not to be but I can’t help it sometimes. To this end I tend to stick my foot in my mouth more than not. My birthday was Monday, 4/20. Yes I know all the jokes but we will move on. My honey says we are meeting a couple of her friends at Dave and busters. But since we were fighting over something stupid I was a bit of a jerk. Come to find out she had something planned for me. She had invited my friends for a birthday party. A surprise birthday party. I had no idea of what to say. I know I should be mad at you for the shyt we were fighting over. But when you do something like this I can’t be mad anymore. And on top of all that you are planning on getting me drunker than a skunk on bad fruit? What the hell is wrong with me? Damn I am one lucky ass monkey that is for sure. `

Casting Magic Missile Now

How the hell did I ever get laid? I just went to the movies and I can’t believe I am this big of a damn geek. The movie that I went to go see was Dragonball Evolution. If you don’t know this movie or the story behind it then just go ask any 12 year boy and I am sure they will tell you. After watching this damn movie I can’t believe I am a 38 year old male that will be married soon. For a matter of fact I can’t believe that I am not in the basement of my parent’s house beating off to some anime character. The movie was bad, the acting was bad. Hell everything about this movie was bad but I loved it. Why? Because I have the brain cells of a 13 year old boy. There is no way I should have ever gotten laid. Much less have gotten my soon to be wife to say yes to me. Damn I am one lucky SOB. Oh and by the way the title of this little story? Click here and you will understand why I chose it.