Grin and be happy.

Wow what a roller-coaster ride of life…  I went to the mind doc and got a bit of insight for the way that I was feeling. I have always had a hard time accepting when things are going well that it will always be that way.  I am not saying I have had the hardest life.  As a matter of fact I would say I had a really good life growing up.  My family traveled, we hung out and my brother and I played sports. Hell my parents were a huge part of that.  You know ‘Team Mom’ and ‘Coach’ type of being involved parents.  Even with all of those things going for me growing up. I still have this fear of when will that other shoe drop?  I have got to stop thinking this way.  I have to enjoy what is going on in my life.  Enjoy what is happening and stop looking for the bad things that are coming from around the corner.  So that is my plan for life. I am going to stop worrying and live life as it should be lived. With a smile on my face and pep in my step. 

Damn what a moody week.

It’s funny; I am sitting at my desk and wondering? What the hell is wrong with me these days? I have a beautiful wife that while she drives me insane some days she makes me so happy. I am working with awesome people. I have a roof over my head and a car in the driveway. I have family and friends that love and care about me. Yet with all this going on, I am feeling depressed is the best way to describe it. It’s almost like a mild depression. I don’t feel as if there is no hope. I just feel as if “I am 43 and I should be further along in my life”.   Things that I used to do that would bring me happiness don’t affect me the same way.  To tell you the truth it seems that this is something that just started happening. I am guessing I am just going through a mood lately.  I do have a person that I am seeing that should be able to help me. So at this point I am just going to have to see my shrink and hope that helps.  Life will get better from here of that I am sure.

Long time no speak.

Wow it's been long time since I have blogged anything. I have had so many things happened with my life. But at this point I just wanted to do a small catch up on my life. Since last I have typed out a blog I have found a girl and I got married. At the time I thought that this woman was perfect. It is now 7 years down the road. I know for a fact she is not perfect and I am the pervert...  After 7 years of being together it seems that any little thing will set her off. Today I got rid of my twitter. Why? because she didn't like that I was a fan of porn stars.  Ok that I can understand. But when I pointed out that I am a fan of porn stars like she is of movie stars. First I was wrong, second It was not the same thing because they are all fully clothed.   Her Favorite movie stars? The Rock who got famous running around in his underwear/briefs.  And Vin  Diesel a guy who shows off when he can where he can.  When I first got on Twitter I got on there for work. Since work was on twitter I had to be on. Then it became somewhere I could vent how I was feeling at that time and moment. Then my wife got on it hell now I couldn't even do that. Hell then why not just follow people that I was a fan of? Hell I thought this would be something safe. NOPE!!!!
Since I was a fan of porn stars and they tend to post nude photos. Now they are all skanks and whores. Oh but I could have my porn collection at home no problem. Hell she would even watch with me. But she feels disrespected if I like a picture or even comment on their picture. Now that is disrespectful for her and acting as if I am single. The comment that I posted?  "As a fan thanks for sharing your photo." nothing more nothing less.  Lately I have been in the dog house more than not. I am not sure why. She has been more touchy and more emotional than ever. I am not sure on what to do. And this is why I wanted to start back to blogging. As a way to vent again. This is just the start. I have more to catch up on and more to tell.