Dating blues

Damn all hollows eve what a day

2009-10-30T18:28:00.001-07:00

So this is it, or at least I think it is. This is the issue at hand. Right now on Friday 30th 2009 my shift is now done. Everyone else on the shift is either moved to another shift or they are going to be let go. I really don’t know what I am going to do at this point. Last post I did mention this but I got a little bit more information. My boss is fighting for my job. I am so happy about that. Not the part where she has to fight for my job but that she is doing it. It makes me feel great that she thinks so highly of me that she would go to bat for me. So here I am on the edge of starting to pound the pavement again. I am so not looking forward to this at all. I thought I had found my dream job and I was going to work out well. Well let’s see where this go now.

The next thing on the list.

2009-10-29T18:32:00.000-07:00

So four months ago I was on cloud nine because I started a new job at a great company. The opportunities were vast and hopeful. Now we are four months from that time. I have learned so much and I still love my job. The people for the most part are great. I couldn’t ask for a better boss. But with that said it is looking like starting Monday I will be back to beating the pavement in search of a job. Our night shift testing will be done on the 29th of October. Seems because of budget concerns and just overall luck of the draw, I am no longer among the employed. How do I feel about that? Well I am upset, kind of lost in the “what am I going to do now”? But with that being said I feel like I am in a much better place than I was last year. I have the backing of a great boss that thinks I have been doing a good job. She even fought for me to stay. I am at the point where I am not sure how I should feel. I know for a fact that this is the first time I have left a job and not been pissed off with the company. Or even pissed off at anyone in the company. I just need to get busy and find something permanent that allows me to take care of my family the way that they should be taken care of.

Weekend fun

2009-10-20T19:09:00.001-07:00

This was a wonderful weekend. I am tried but also very relaxed to tell you the truth. Saturday started very very early. I got off work at 1:30 am but that was just a kind of to the damn weekend. I wasn’t able to really get to sleep. I had to take a friend home from my place at like 3 am. I was so tired but so awake that I couldn’t go to sleep at all. I love my friends but damn sleep and I are not on good terms right now. So when I was finally able to get to sleep it was 5am. I knew I would have to get up early and get the day started but oh well. When I woke up and got dressed it was 10 am time to start the fun of surprising my sweetie. I went first to get her flowers, 1 dozen roses, green and hot pink. The florist did one hell of a great job putting them together. She made it so that the greens and pinks just stood out and it looked great. So now I had the flowers I had the wine and I was set. Now the hard part of my little adventure. Part of my plan was to drive our car to the hotel. The hotel was in Redondo Beach. The Portofino Inn and Yacht club, this is a wonderful hotel in the Redondo area. It’s right on the water. So I was able to come early enough that I was able to come and decorate the room. Everyone at the hotel was wonderful and very helpful. After I decorated the room it was now time to try and get home in time. I had to get home in 3 hours. Oh man this is going to be close. I caught one bus and it seemed to take so long time to get where I needed to be. But I was able to make it with 20 minutes to spare. Get showered and dressed and even had time to sit and take a breath. My girl couldn’t have been more excited all the way to the show. She couldn’t get the smile off her face. The fact that I was able to pull it all off was great. What was even better was the fact that she didn’t find out any of the plan. For this I am padding my own back. OH and on a side note we are getting married again. We just haven’t set a date, but this time it’s going to be something very small. Less than twenty people will be invited that is for sure.

relaxing at last.

2009-10-09T22:07:00.001-07:00

I can’t believe I have not posted anything in the last couple of weeks. It’s not that I haven’t had anything to say. I have even started typing out a few little things that have happened. I just couldn’t finish the thoughts that went along with them. I have been working some insane hours. I have been averaging about 60 + hours a week. Sleep and I have not been good friends lately. It seems to come and go as it pleases and leaves me awake till the wee hours of the morning. It sucks when I can go to “sleep” and awaken all before the sun comes up. It’s really starting to put a bit of a strain on my piece of mind. I am enjoying work and other than trying to keep everyone on track here it’s been going alright. I need to stay on top of these guys sometime. They tend to lose a bit of focus if I don’t watch them like a hawk. It’s funny but I have become more of a damn baby sitter than I have ever been before. They feel that since the job is kind of easy that they don’t have to pay as much attention as they should. What is sad is that even when I am standing over them they think this isn’t reflecting on their performance. At the end of the day part of my job will be to evaluate their performance and with them lacking. The future isn’t bright for them that Is for damn sure.
Next week I have my anniversary and I can’t wait to have a long weekend with my girl. But right now there seems to be a few issues. I sent out the damn deposit over three weeks ago. I called today and the damn place said I don’t have any deposit on record. Oh hell no, I have the damn money order copy anybody spent that money order there is going to be hell to pay for sure. I have had this all planned out for over 2 months and for something to fuck it up in the last week, I don’t think so.

Damn someone kill the music

2009-09-25T00:58:00.000-07:00

I can’t believe how much things can go so well and so badly at the same time. Work has been going so well and I could be happier with the way this part of my life is going. But my personal life is in a bit of a twister. “L” went to see our therapist and all the bad crap from her childhood came busting through. So from the moment she came home there has been a crying fest going on at my house. “L” has just been crying and not really aware of why. To compound all this, her boss’s boss is playing a silly power game. Just playing this dumb ass game where she is writing her up for crap she isn’t even a part of. So the fact that “L” started crying like someone just died only makes the power player feel better. This type of person just pisses me off. But I know that she will get hers and this all will come and bite her in the ass. The Crying has stopped for now. We had to go back to the Therapist, but it helped out more than we could ever know. Damn I love the therapist now. On a side note, the only thing right now that I am down about at this moment at work is. I HATE KARAOKE….. I had to move my desk a couple of weeks ago and I seat in a room with 15 people singing karaoke. They are driving me insane. They are all on different songs and singing at different levels. I can feel the brain cells exploding as the night go on. I can’t wait to have this project over with. Because if this goes on much longer I will be go deaf from the pencils I have jammed into my ears.

stressed but loving it

2009-08-19T11:16:00.000-07:00

Today I have decided to write up something to try and describe that the hell has been going on in my life the last couple of weeks. I am still working and I do still love my job. But in my 12 years in the video game industry I have never been part of the drama that I have been a part of in the last couple of weeks. Since starting this job I have had to suspend a couple of people. I’ve had to fire one guy. I have had to drive my bosses car home so that she could get there safely because she was threaten at work. I have had fake “death threats” and lots and lots of crying. The sad part about it is that this has been focused on one person. But I do have to say I still love this job and can’t think of anything else I would rather do. My girl and I have been getting together better than ever. We went to our therapist and even she said we have done a 180 since we first came in. We have come a really long way since we first started seeing her. It’sbeen the most amazing thing ever. We have gotten to the point where we have started talking about getting married again. We have just started so we are not making any plans right now. My girls’ biggest issue at this point is her mom. Her Mom tends to be a very bitter person about everything. Oh well she is too old to change and I know it. I will deal with her when I have to and not have her stand in our way. Sleep is not mybest friend right now but my other best friend and lover is making everything good.

The fourth in San Fran

2009-07-17T09:31:00.000-07:00

Wow so much has happened in the last couple of weeks. I am going to have a lot of catching up to do. First off our trip to San Francisco was great. We had a couple of little hick-ups but over all we had a really wonderful time. We started our little vacation with a very pleasant drive to the Airport. My girl was a trooper all the way. I know that she hates to drive with my best friend as he thinks all the roads are racetracks. But she really was great and he even slowed down and took his time. Now for him that is something huge. We were flying out of Long Beach Airport. I love this airport for the soul reason that it’s the quickest wait time from the curb to the terminal. No lie it’s about a 5 minute wait from car to sitting in the terminal. This is now the time for our vacation to start. It’s a nice short flight to San Francisco. The only thing about the flight that had me kind of weird about was the landing. I mean damn I look out the damn window and there is another plane that if I wasn’t sure was going to be landing at the same time. Now I didn’t know this damn airport was that big but damn why are two planes landing at the same time? Well turns out there were two runways. I breathed a sigh of relief at this point. OK now that was an interesting start to the weekend. We decided to take the train into downtown San Fran. When we got off the train there was the normal homeless and street performers. It’s a little scary the moment you get out of the stop. Then we had to walk 3 blocks to the hotel. Now If you have ever been to San Fran there is a area known as the tenderloin. This is a rough as hell area. As a matter of fact within the 3 blocks we witness at least 3 drug deals and a bunch of thugs. And that is just the first night. After that we couldn’t enjoy the weekend more. People watching up there was wonderful. We spent the full day just walking and watching. As a matter of fact that is also what we did on Sunday. But Sunday we went to Golden Gate Park. This is a huge fucking park. We didn’t even cover a third of the park and that is after 3 hours of walking at this point. We spent four hours in the park and then my girl wanted to walk some more. She wanted to make our way to Lombard Street. My god woman, we have been walking for hours and you want to do more? You are insane woman. This also was the only real fight we got into for the whole weekend. All in all this was one of the best weekends that I have ever been on.

As an aside when we got back home on Tuesday. I was greeted with the news that I have a new job. After seeking and searching day in and day out. I am now gainfully employed. Yeaaa.

Another day down

2009-06-24T19:31:00.000-07:00

It’s been a few weeks since I have blogged. I think I have just been trying to put everything in my life together so that I don’t freak out when I think about it. The sweetie and I have started our counseling sessions. So far we have had two of them. The first one was really easy because it was just a get to know you session with the therapist. After that things around the house went from tense to a little less tense. Then we got into another disagreement. Not even a fight just a damn disagreement. Well that blew up in our faces so the second session was just oh so much fun. She cried, I did not. We found out a little more about each other that we liked and didn’t like. We also worked through a few things also. But like always it seems that I am paying for a lot of things other people have done to her. From her father to her past boyfriends, I am baring the brunt of all their past deeds. Oh and it’s so much fun to live down those people. I am expected to change overnight but not given even the slightest chance to do it. The therapist gives us homework and it does help. At this point it’s just a lot of long hard work. But I think she Is worth it so I will do it.

You want to take some of the heat?

2009-05-29T10:36:00.000-07:00

Today was to be my wedding day. But after everything that has happened it’s turned into a day where I can’t even look into the mirror. I woke this morning not really wanting to face the coming day. But I have to say the last two days have been much better. We are working things out and making them better to say the least. But with the family the focus has been taken away from us. At least with most of the family that is the case. Seems that one of her cousins has left her husband. There seems to be some really deep crap going on over there. Much worst than we could ever deal with. In the eyes of the family right now I am the better of two choices that is for sure. I am not cheating or selling drugs. Hell I am a fucking angel compared to this guy. The other reason I am feeling much better. Is that her Father came by last night and this morning for breakfast. And for all his faults, he is really a good guy. He is more like my Father than I at first thought. He is letting us deal with it since it’s our problem. Not trying to butt in or tell either of us what to do. He is just being a supportive Father and there for his daughter. This is good to know for sure.

Rougher days ahead

2009-05-24T10:49:00.000-07:00

The countdown should be five and counting. But nope my insane mind has fucked that up. And right now I am just trying to get pass this week without to much bloodshed. Things around the house have been interesting to say the least. We have been talking and working on things but there is a bit of an uneasy tension. There are times that I see some glimmer of hope about us getting pass this. But then again there are signs that she is not getting over it and just wants to make me feel bad. Well it’s too late for that right now, I feel like hell damn near everyday I wake. We keep talking about the future, weeks down the road and even years down the road. There is a little at the end of the tunnel for sure. It’s just blinking off and on. More on than not but still blinking a bit.

An update

2009-05-15T10:54:00.001-07:00

So the update is this. Two weeks from today I was to be getting married. As things go right at this moment that will not be the case. As of right now we are talking things out and working on the things that went wrong, mainly me. What I didn’t understand is that to save up money you had to be discipline in it. Now here is the funny part. When I was younger I saved up money, lunch money, chore money any money I could find. I had no problem back then. Now it seems that the debit card is my worst enemy. Now we are going to work on a plan to help me with this. We are also going to go and get consoling for our relationship and with our money issues. Last night we had a very long and humbling talk. And it was very good to really sit and talk about these things. It should have happened a long time ago but it didn’t. So now I know that she still wants to marry me and live with me forever. The only issue I have now is that she wants me to get her parents blessing. This I’m not really sure how I feel about this. Here is the problem. She has a Mom that has been married three times already. This is also the woman that abandoned her when she was young. So this is a ringing endorsement for a loving mother. Her Father on the other hand is an interesting man. He loves to be the center of attention. He also loves hanging out with women old enough to be his daughter. He has been married 3 times. The last one left him and took the kids out of the country and it really doesn’t seem like they are ever coming back. There are other issues that I can mention but it doesn’t excuse what I have done. But it makes the fact that she wants me to get their blessing just out and out strange. I almost think that she is just trying to see how far I will go for her. But at this point I will just play it by ear and hope for the best. Just have to keep moving forward for sure.

2009-05-06T07:47:00.001-07:00

I can't believe the last 48 hours? I went from being beyond happy to feeling the worst I have ever felt. I have lost my best friend and lover. I did something that I felt ashamed about. I made a money decision that effected both of us but I didn't talk with her about it. I thought I was doing the right thing but it blew up in my face. Everything was talked out and we were moving forward. It is said that the things that mess up a relationship are money, family and friends. I wish that things didn't get to this point but my love doesn't end just like that. I can only hope that we can work through this and be better for it in the end. I also wish that others can just stay out of our business and let the two people that are effect deal with it. I can't believe the woman I was going to married has let her family get in the way of what we were doing. My future mother in law has overstepped herself. instead of letting us deal with our problems she bends her ear and just fucks everything up. I don't know what is in our future but I can tell you I will never forgive her. She wants everyone to be bitter. She is the image to follow. the 3 time married woman, who is more of an friend than parent has fucked my life as well as her daughters. Lets see how much this back fires in her face.

Stop being an Ass

2009-04-21T13:51:00.000-07:00

I am a lucky little shit I till you that much. Two interesting things happened to me over the last couple of weeks. The first was on Easter. We decide to go visit my parents in the armpit of California. The city I speak of is Hemet. If no one knows where that is it’s in the middle of the deserts. It’s wear our old people go to die. Well while there, my father goes into the story about how he use to work at the playboy mansion. Yes you heard me right my dad use to work at the Playboy Mansion. Oh man the stories that he came up with just flipped my lid. As a matter of fact my fiancé even saying wow. But to end the day she tells me “Oh it all makes sense now. You are just like your Father.” I would have tried to deny it but I can’t. LOL what can I really say that would have made her wrong?
For some reason I can be an ass. I know this I try not to be but I can’t help it sometimes. To this end I tend to stick my foot in my mouth more than not. My birthday was Monday, 4/20. Yes I know all the jokes but we will move on. My honey says we are meeting a couple of her friends at Dave and busters. But since we were fighting over something stupid I was a bit of a jerk. Come to find out she had something planned for me. She had invited my friends for a birthday party. A surprise birthday party. I had no idea of what to say. I know I should be mad at you for the shyt we were fighting over. But when you do something like this I can’t be mad anymore. And on top of all that you are planning on getting me drunker than a skunk on bad fruit? What the hell is wrong with me? Damn I am one lucky ass monkey that is for sure. `

Casting Magic Missile Now

2009-04-10T18:28:00.000-07:00

How the hell did I ever get laid? I just went to the movies and I can’t believe I am this big of a damn geek. The movie that I went to go see was Dragonball Evolution. If you don’t know this movie or the story behind it then just go ask any 12 year boy and I am sure they will tell you. After watching this damn movie I can’t believe I am a 38 year old male that will be married soon. For a matter of fact I can’t believe that I am not in the basement of my parent’s house beating off to some anime character. The movie was bad, the acting was bad. Hell everything about this movie was bad but I loved it. Why? Because I have the brain cells of a 13 year old boy. There is no way I should have ever gotten laid. Much less have gotten my soon to be wife to say yes to me. Damn I am one lucky SOB. Oh and by the way the title of this little story? Click here and you will understand why I chose it.

The hunt is on

2009-03-29T16:54:00.001-07:00

The trip was an huge success. From this one convention I was able to get my name and face into the minds of over two dozen HR managers. I even got an interview out of just turning in my resume to one Director of the department I was looking to get into. All and all this was something I needed to do. It was getting to the point where I was thinking that I needed to start my career search in a totally new area. But this trip has proven to me that the skills and experience I have are valued for a company in this industry. Now I have to just put together some thank you emails to send along to the HR people I have met. I see a new light at the end of that dark tunnel.

To sell ones soul

2009-03-26T05:59:00.000-07:00

In a few hours I am leaving on a jet plane to San Francisco. I am excited and very ready for this. But there is a downside. One of the shirts I was going to wear, as a matter of fact one of my favorite shirts. It's now ruined. My future wife is one that wants to be helpful. To the point that she will bug and nag about something. Even if you tell her no and that isn't what you want. She wants to prove that she is helpful and knows what is best. Well, my best silk shirt now has a hole in it from where she burned it. It didn't take much just touching the iron to the silk and good buy shirt. It's funny but this is a shirt that she loved me in also. Oh well I guess I am going to have to go and find another shirt to wear. A shirt that doesn't scream hey you give me a job. OK so I'm off to go and sell my soul and body for a paycheck wish me luck.

Now this is something new

2009-03-06T19:29:00.001-08:00

So right after I wrote my last post I got a lead. A headhunter from one of the companies that I use gave me a call. He said that he got a hold of my resume from their Database and I look like a fit for one of those jobs. Oh man did my ears perk up. But with every up there is always a low. The job is located in China. I would have to move to China and live there. Now the money isn't all that great, at least I don't think so. I would be getting about the same as I would here in the states but I would also get a cost of living pay. This would be apart from my regular and just used for room and board. I know on paper it sounds like a great deal. And I would be stupid not to at least look at it. Now I am no where near a dumb ass so yea I am taking a very strong look into it. We will have to see how it goes. The headhunter has submitted my resume and at this point we are just waiting for them to take the next step. But until then I will keep on looking and keep all options open.

3 more months

2009-03-01T14:22:00.001-08:00

It's March 1st today and I can't believe I have been out of work this long. Last time I was out of work this long I had at least a few more interviews than I have had. Since October first I have had only one interview. When I say one interview I only mean with one company. I'm not use to that at all. I have the experience and the skill sets to get the jobs that I have applied for. I just can't figure out why no one is calling. I will just have to keep my nose to the grind stone and not let up on the search. On another note I think the stress of this wedding and not working is starting to weight in on both of us. We are so touchy that anything and everything just sets us off. But for some reason it always starts the same way. She wants more sex, even after saying we should wait until after the wedding. Now this was her ideal in the first place. But she can't go through with it and it's my fault because I keep reminding her about it. I'm Sorry but if you are going to keep bringing it up until I say yes. Then I am going to keep you on track. She seems that she is very insecure and it's driving me insane. She wants me to always prove that I am attracted to her. I think that has to be one of the reasons she is like this. We are going to have to work on this otherwise there is trouble down the road.

Keep your head up kid.

2009-02-15T15:52:00.001-08:00

I can't believe It has been almost 6 months since I have been out of work. And it's not as if I have been sitting on my ass the whole time. I have been pounding the pavement and submitting my resume to every place I could. Hell I have been applying to the same job in the hopes that I could get just an interview. In the time since October I have been on only one interview. And while I was told that went wonderful I didn't get the job. I have to tell you this does a job on your self worth. What makes it worst I have to tell you, is the fact that I know of people that I have trained working in positions higher than the position when I got laid off. So people I trained have gotten higher in position and pay. And here I am at home wondering what I am going to do if my unemployment runs out. Next month I have a huge job fair to go to. I am going to use that time to completely sell myself and we will see how that goes. I have my fingers crossed and hopes high.

Damn it life sucks.

2009-02-05T10:56:00.000-08:00

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I knew this phone call was coming. It was only a matter of time. The phone call was the one from my Dad saying he had a “friend”. Well my dad and mom are still married. But I really can't be mad at my dad at all. For the last 20+ years my Mother has had multiple sclerosis. It's a disease that attacks the autoimmune system. Basically what happens is the signals from your brain don't make it to the other parts of your body. For the last 10 years or so my parents haven't really been husband and wife. More like care-giver and patient. They are both young. My dad just had his 56^th birthday on the 3^rd. And he takes great care of my Mom. But there are other things that he needs as a man. Now before anyone says I am just saying this because he is a man. I would be saying the same thing if it was my Dad that was sick. This sucks either way you look at it. He loves her and is not planning on divorcing her that is not a concern at all. It's just the fact that it has come to this that really sucks. I know he has talked with my Mom and I know they have agreed to this. This world isn't black and white but shades of gray. Dad isn't cheating on Mom. Dad doesn't not love Mom anymore. None of these things have come into play. There are just areas that Mom can't do for Dad what he needs. I am old enough to know the logic behind it. But I am still a kid that knows dad has a new “friend”.

My geekdom has exploded

2009-01-30T19:00:00.000-08:00

OOOhhhhhh I am so the biggest geek. I can't help myself. I have been into comic books since I was 13 years old. I really didn't get really into it until I was about 16 or 17. This was when I could drive and be able to go do the comic book shop. I have read X-man, Superman and other books. But my newest book that I have fallen in love with is called “The Boys”. I have falling in love with this type of comic book. The reason being it's not your normal type of comic. Yes it has superheros, but the supers are not perfect images. They do drugs, have sex with hookers and it's written by a great writer. The writer is Garth Ennis. If you have a chance please do check out his books. Oh but if you are faint of heart, you might want to check out something different. Garth's books will damage the faint of heart for sure.

You better change for the better!!!!

2009-01-09T19:08:00.000-08:00

It's funny but people ask you for respect. Yet those same people can't bother to treat you with the same respect that they ask for. They tell you that you don't appreciate them and how you do nothing. Yet it is they who shows the disrespect. They want you to do as they say not as they do. They will tell you sweet nothings and how much they care. All the while getting everything they want. Why should they care? You grew up rough? Well guess what that is no reason to treat me the way you do. You have something to prove maybe? That you can't get hurt? You don't like it when people are mean to you? You don't like it when they talk about you as if you weren't' there? But yet you will put others down without a second thought. You who proclaim to be the nicest of nice is always ready with a backhanded remark. Or at the very least something sarcastic to say about others. Always a prank at someones else expense. So tell me just how is this showing respect? How is this showing the people you say you care about just how you want to be treaded? Maybe that you can hurt others as much as you have been hurt? In the end all you do is just make sure that you will always be alone. For you it's more about keeping up appearances then its to be real with people. Oh you want everyone to think that you have it all together but do you? Not even close. Well I hope your image is just how you wanted it. Because with the way you are going that is the only thing you will end up with in the end. You say you will never change the way you are. But why is it that you want every one to change the to your way of thinking? You are not the model image that everyone wants to live up to. Your life is your life. Your life is not the be all end all. Either you will flex and change or you will forever be alone and lonely. Well either that are you will keep finding the losers you were surrounding yourself with. You were so happy with them now weren't you?

Oh come on really?

2009-01-07T11:31:00.001-08:00

I can't believe how much I am glad I am that I met the woman I did. I was going back over some of the females that I have gone out with over the years and thinking. OH damn do they have some problems. It really is great to know that even though you might think the woman you are with now is insane sometimes. (more on that later) It's nothing compared to the insane woman you could have ended up with.

Ok the new reason I think the soon to be Mrs. Gamer is insane. Somehow I am in trouble with her over falling asleep. We went out to her moms house and I told her earlier in the day that I wasn't feeling well. Her mom calls and ask if she could come out. We are not close to home and it made no sense to come all the way back home drop me off and then go to her place. Too much driving and not a lot of gas in the car. And since I am not working and what ever money we do have is going to the wedding. I didn't think a waste of gas like that would be smart. Her mom isn't home when we get there but she has a key. We let our self in and watch a movie. A chick flick of course, like I had any choice in the matter. Next thing I know I am asleep and out like a lite. Now even when I told her I wasn't feeling well earlier . And the fact that this was told to her before her moms call. She thinks I am being anti-social and not wanting to be there. OH yes being sick is anti-social. Nothing more fun then to have someone throwing up on you while you are talking to them. I will just let her get over this crap and find something else to stress out about. Damn it and here I though it would be getting better.

Job or winning lotto numbers give me one or the other

2008-12-13T21:10:00.001-08:00

The holidays are upon us, this sucks ass. I am not working and it feels like shit because I can't do the things I want to do for the people I care about. At this point all our money is going into the wedding. And from what it looks like from this point until May that is where all the money that I am getting is going. If we want this to go the way we want that is just how it's going to go.
Well that is the way I am feeling at this point in time. The holidays always get me feeling this way. I know I am not the only one but It does seem to be a regular thing for me. As you might be able to tell I didn't get the job that I was hoping for. After three different interviews, a flight out to Austin Texas. They told me I wasn't a good fit. OK, that part I can deal with. But they still made it sound like I was in the running for another position. I even had the HR person tell me “It's looking Good”. I mean I would rather you not said anything at all if that was the case. Now I have no prospects and a Christmas where I have no money.
On another note we had a great thanksgiving. Everyone in my family loved her. It's funny I have never dated a girl that my whole family loved. But everyone that has met her and talked with her has falling in as much love as I did with her. Thanksgiving was also a time to meet family I have not seen in a long long time. It was great to see them again and catch up with they are doing and for them to see my sweetie. I am glad this part of my life is going well that is for damn sure.

Thanks for the great start to the weekend

2008-11-23T10:50:00.001-08:00

So the greatest start to a weekend is what I had. Last week I was in part good mood and part bad. I was in a bad mood since my surgery got canceled. But I was in a good mood since it looked like very shortly I would be a part of the working public. Well I am not really sure but it’s looking like even that has come and gone by the wayside. On Friday at the end of the day I get an email saying thanks but no thanks about the job. Now here is the strange part, at least for me. Before I went on the interview on Wednesday I was told that they didn’t think I was a fit for the higher position. But for the second position I was a good fit. The thanks but no thanks email was about the first position that I went for. So at this point I am not sure if it was just for one position or both. For me this was just a crushing blow. A couple of years ago I went though a time where I would do great interviews but never get the job. I am talking about going on not one but upwards of 3 interviews. This went on for about a year and at points it really would beat me up. I don’t want to go through that crap again. So I have an email to the people that it needs to go out to. But since it was the end of the day I won’t be able to hear anything until Monday. Now that was Friday on Saturday I go out to get the mail. In the mail I get bills for all the appointments that I have had over the last month, 350 dollars worth of bills. OH you have got to be fucking kidding me. I don’t think so. On Monday I am going down to San Diego to talk with a lawyer and see if he can tell them to go and fuck themselves. This shit should have been caught before a month went by. I even asked them a few times if my insurance is covering this. I feel like I am going to just up and beat the hell out of a puppy or something.

UPDATE: oh yea all the talk of "great interview", "It's looking good" were all BS. I didn't get the job and for that matter all the people that were interviewed at this time didn't get in either. wow I guess even when you do good you have to live up to someone else ideas. Pissed off? yea I would say I am pissed. I mean really 3 interviews? fly me out to a different state to say no thank you? how would you feel?

OH you decide to tell me this now??

2008-11-18T01:31:00.000-08:00

I have learned a very very important lesson today. I will never ever work for a company that doesn’t have a proper HR department. The last couple of companies that I have worked for, have had either no HR department or someone idiot who this was just another job description to their job title. The reason I am so pissed off at the moment. I was all ready for my knee surgery. When out of the blue I get a call that says my insurance has been terminated. Ok when in the hell did this come up? I have been going to the doctor and having test done for over two months now. In the two months not word one has been said about me not having insurance. As a matter of fact after asking them about it they said my insurance was all good. I can’t believe all this crap that is going on at this point. I now have no insurance and won’t be having my surgery. So until I get another job with some good insurance I am screwed. My knee will continue to give out and swell up. Oh and by the way when I called my old company to find out what happened? They sent me the “cobra” insurance but to my old address. Ok so how the hell didn’t I get it at my new address? My checks, insurance cards, bills and all the other crap could find me. I put in the change of address yet I didn’t get this paperwork that they said they sent. I am going to beat someone. Oh and by the way, my job interview went very well. I am not moving on to the next stage. With the crap comes some good then.

Hey what's Burning?

2008-11-16T15:15:00.000-08:00

Man it’s just one fire after another here in California. I wanted to relax this weekend after the long week of travel and interviewing. This was the weekend I tried to take my mind off the fact that Tuesday I will allow someone to cut into me. As you can tell I am so looking forward to it. But I wake up on Saturday to major fires going on all around me. Damn, can’t we get one season without there being some kind of hell storm going on? I ran into some people from the fires at a Carl’s Jr. The talk of the whole place was the fact that the smoke from the fires is so dense all the way to Huntington Beach. This is some 20 miles away so you can have an idea of why it’s on our minds. But it was really moving to hear them talk about how when they left you could see the fire from their window. I don’t know what I would do, to know that leaving your home that day it could be the very last time you see it. All the memories that you have there from pictures to other things of value. I can say my heart goes out to all those effected by these fires and I wish the best for them.

the long week coming

2008-11-08T10:51:00.001-08:00

Man last week seemed like it would never end. The week just creeps by while more and more things lined up for next week. I think the only days I don’t have something planed would be Monday and Friday. Tuesday I have to first go to the doctor for an EKG. Not really sure what they are going to do but oh well it’s something I have to do. After that there is some bridal event that we need to go to. It going to save us a lot of money in the long run, so I am all for it to tell you the truth. Now on Wednesday I get to fly out to Austin Texas. I have an interview with a company. Now the funny part about this is the job is located out here in Calif. But the big bosses are in Austin. So this is the reason for the flight. An early morning flight so that I get into town around 4 pm. Now this can be bad for me. I have a few hours to kill without anything really to do. I see a lot of booze in that time. But I do have to take it a little easy since I have an interview about 10:30am. Not really sure how long it’s going to take, but once that is over with it’s back to the airport to fly home. I should be home late on Thursday. Oh it really will be a long week. I am going to take it easy and try to do my best. I hope I get this job. This would be just what we need to get back on track. I can’t believe just how fast May is coming up. 6 months went by so damn fast I don’t know where the time went. Oh well all I can do is hope we can get this done in time.

7 months and counting.

2008-10-27T21:58:00.001-07:00

This weekend my fiancé and I had our engagement party. It was a long day to say the least. I for one didn’t know just how it would turn out. I wasn’t sure who would show up or if any body would show up for that matter. Well I didn’t really have to worry. A lot of people showed up. Not everyone that we invited but a lot of people. I do have to say I was a bit disappointed with a couple of things. One my mom couldn’t make it to the party. My dad had to take her home because she wasn’t comfortable staying there. At this point I am not even sure if she will make it to the wedding. I am not even sure how this is going to turn out now. It also seems that my dad is hiding a few things also. Maybe a new lover, I am not even sure. While I was hanging out with him the day before he got a phone call from a woman. He said that he would call her back but it was still a little overwhelming to deal with. Then I talk to him today on Monday and he tells me he had to leave early. He had someone on his mind. I really wasn’t sure it was my mom because you would think he would say that. I have read about this. Where the spouse will become more of a care taker than spouse, I am pretty sure this is what’s going on. I am not all that happy about it right now but damn. The other thing that I am a bit disappointed in is my Brother. My brother who is in my wedding couldn’t even make it to the engagement party. He had no reason not to show up. He was told that he could get a ride; he didn’t have to worry about getting home. We had set up something where he would be able to be for the night. It’s a big pain in the ass for sure. So now I have to find people to fill out my wedding party since I am not sure I can count on my brother to make it to the wedding party. Oh yea for every good thing comes something bad. Oh joy.

Damn it lets go back to the 90's

2008-10-18T11:07:00.001-07:00

This recession we are in has got to end soon. I mean damn man where the hell did all that money everyone was making in the 90’s go? It seems that everyone has been hit by this lately. I know I just got hit myself. I was laid off about 3 weeks ago. The reason is the company is moving half of their force to Canada. Why you ask? It has to do with getting a working visa here in the United States. When half the company is Korean they need work visas. And the company has to pay for that visa. What’s funny is the company started making money. But they feel it’s a better deal to move most of the company up to Canada so I am out of a job. It’s funny most of my friends have told me take the time off and relax and take a little bit of a vacation. Well I would if I had something line up. But I don’t, I need to work. It’s a part of me and what one of the things that my parents drilled into me. This is why even if I would win the Lotto I would still have to work. There is no way I could retire and spend the life on the couch. That is just not who I am. The job search is going slow. And with a slow job hunt means I am stuck around the house more than I would on a normal day. The little woman isn’t all that happy about that either. And when you are planning a wedding it’s never a good thing. Hell she even had to take a demotion at work so we are for sure getting less money then we did a few months ago. Combined we are making about 450 to 500 dollars less than we were. That hurts for sure. Things are tight but still do able we hope that is. Just one more hurdle to get over that is for sure.

What no Mirror at home or what?

2008-09-08T17:24:00.001-07:00

It’s an interesting time I am in. I didn’t know what to write about this time but then I went for a pedicure. And yes before you say anything I am male and I do go for pedicures. Hey I like them what can I say? Well to get back to my story, I am sitting there and in walks this woman. This woman is an older woman. She is very loud and from the looks of it she loves to be the center of attention. Now the reason I say she loves to be the center of attention? Well from her clothing and make up and voice how she could not. Her hat had been so bedazzled it look like she was wearing a mirror ball on her head. Oh and lets not forget her shirt. It was done in the same kind of fugly shiny fake rhinestones. And her voice was just as loud as her clothing. I am not sure when this became common place, but damn I see it more and more here in OC. It seems to go beyond all racial lines and tends to just be an old woman thing. Oh man I can’t believe these women have family members that would let them out of the house. I know my grandmother wouldn’t be caught out in some get up like this. I think it’s time we should tell these women just how ugly their outfit is. Otherwise this world will just continue to get uglier and uglier.

Ok I am wrong again somehow.

2008-08-19T10:52:00.000-07:00

I can’t believe the last couple of weeks. It’s gone from one fight to another. This week it’s that I can’t joke around with my fiancé about dancing. She has been asking me to go dancing for a while now. It’s something that is important to her. So after putting it off for one reason or another I say you know what why not it’s something she will like. Let’s do it. Well oh how I would have been so happy if it was that simple. My life would be wonderful if things could just be simple these days. She doesn’t want to just go out dancing she wants to do ballroom dancing. You know formal dancing which for me; a person that can barely keep beat. Oh yea this is going to go well for sure. But you know what that is beside the point. So she asks me if I wouldn’t mind dancing. You know what I decided that I would just say yes. It should be fun, and to tell the truth I was excited by it. Her first words, “Are you serious?” Thinking that she was being flirty and joking around I say yea I am I will pick out some music. Oh the joy that little bit of joking caused. At this point now I am the anti-Christ. “I just have to put my little spin on thing. “ Now when I tell her I was joking and that I am really excited by this. I even told her I was looking into going to a professional dance studio to learn. Oh that was even more of a joy to hear. When I let her in on that little tidbit I was now told. “I can’t believe you would want to share this with someone else and not me.” Are you fucking serious? I am trying to do something for you and you are fighting me on every little bit of it. I at my wits end at this point. I wasn’t looking for a fight as a matter of fact I was excited to do and share something with her. Now she is hurt that I don’t want to share with her. Even after talking with her and telling her that I want to share. This was a point less fight that was stupid. There is no reason behind it. I am not sure what the hell is going on at this point. But something is clearly off and from now until it’s right again I have a target on my head. Damn this is so going to be fun.

Damn really all at once?

2008-08-14T15:04:00.000-07:00

Damn it, if this is what married life is going to be like I am in trouble. I mean damn, I can understand some of the mood swings. But the snapping at me every 15 mins? This is just driving me insane. Let me start from the beginning. My girl had some tooth problems that should have been taken care of before. But because she is scared of the dentist it didn’t get taken care of until it’s now driving her insane with pain. Now the for the many problems at the moment. 1.) She is in a lot of pain right now, the kind that won’t even let her sleep type of pain. 2.) She through this would be the best time to quit cold turkey on the smoking. Yea that is never something that goes well now is it? 3.) She hasn’t had her period in over a month and a half. Ok this one can’t also be partly my fault. All of this together has made life at home very very interesting. She snaps at the smallest thing these days. She is in pain, moody from not having a cig yet and on some vicodin that is making her feeling no pain. Oh well back to my beating now.

Just trying to hold on now.

2008-08-01T13:39:00.000-07:00

I can’t believe just how much you women drive me insane. I love women but damn if sometimes I can’t ever figure them out. For some reason I have been in a two day fight with my future wife. Over me not reminding her about a friend coming over. Now I could understand this if it was weeks since I first told her about this, not two days. So to sum it up I found out a friend was coming over to help me move a few things. I told her about it and she said yes. Now coming the day of and she asks me about taking the car to work that day. I remind her of what we talked about and now I am in the dog house. Oh joys of joys. I am just going to ride this one out and hope that it doesn’t last too long. Well it didn’t take too long and all is good in future married life.
Now the other reason this was the month of the shitty mood. Well my mom has been sick for a very long time. She has MS which is Multiple Sclerosis she has had it since I was the age of 16 I would say. In that time it’s gotten worst and worst. At this point she is now bed ridden. One of the problems that you get when you are bedridden is bed sores. My mom gets a lot of those these days. The problem is they now get infected, as aside they are hard to heal. Since she has had so many infections the doctors decided that to best get rid of the infections they were going to take the leg that was getting all the infections. Four inches above the knee on the left leg they were going to take off. For me this was huge. I have watched my mother go from this vibrant woman to one that is depended on others and can’t even feed herself. So on Thursday the 24th they took off her leg and I was able to take time off to go down and support her. There were other family members there so that was very good. She was able to see all the people that do care. Everything came out alright and she is at home and resting recovering from the surgery. So that has been my last month or so. It’s going to be a better time now I hope. The family is that much better for it.

you want to drive where?

2008-06-11T17:14:00.001-07:00

Oh the joy, so tomorrow I get to drive to Las Vegas at 4 am in the morning. I love Vegas I really do. Most of the time that is, When I am going to relax and have fun I love it. When I am going for work or something like that it’s another story. The reason I am going down tomorrow is for my fiancé younger brother’s graduation. Things just kind of got all messed up so her ride out to Vegas got canceled. So she said that she was going to drive the 320 miles to Las Vegas by herself. Oh no I didn’t think that would be a great idea. There was no way I was going to let her drive all that way alone. Well that was yesterday morning. Yesterday night I was told that we were now driving with her Grandfather. The man is almost 90 years old. So even thought she is not alone it’s still not a safe thing to do. So I am still driving out to Las Vegas and then driving back to be home before midnight tomorrow. So here is the run down, we are leaving at 4am and returning by about 11:30 PM. Man this is going to be one long ass day. Oh how I can’t wait.

Ok when does the music start?

2008-06-03T14:21:00.000-07:00

Oh man I just had to get this down on paper today. I had the most interesting thing happen to me last night. I am at home with my girl and we were pretty much about to get ready for bed. My girl goes into the restroom to take off some makeup. At that point there is a soft knock at my door. I look out my peephole and see this very small woman standing at the door. I open it and there is a very nice woman holding a bottle of vodka. She says she just moved in and wanted to get to know her neighbors. So she was walking around the complex seeing who is awake. LOL I’m telling you I though this was a joke at first but nope it wasn’t. She was very very drunk when she knocked and it showed in the way she talked and almost fell over a couple of times. It was funny when my girl came out and wanted to know what was going on. I told her and the look on her face was one of “Oh my god” she just looked and couldn’t believe that this was happening. Now here is something funny. If I was a single guy again I would have heard the porn music going and invited her in to drink some of my vodka. Oh how much fun that would have been. But I am no longer single so no porn music going off in my head. LOL

how much you want?

2008-05-29T13:53:00.000-07:00

Ok so this is really the first time I have been engaged and in the process of making the plans. It’s wild, but I have to say we are making out like bandits. We went looking at sites where we were going to hold the wedding and reception. And I have to tell you damn I can’t believe how much some of these places charge. I have been talking with friends and they have been telling me they spent upwards of 35 thousand dollars. Now I didn’t hit the lottery so I know our wedding is so not going to be anywhere close to that. But we did find something that was really cool. My future wife fell in love with it the moment we looked at it. We are going to get married on a yacht. It’s one of these yachts there are made just to hold events like this. The company that we are dealing with is so professional. Every question that we had they answered and we were both very impressed. And from what my other friends were telling me about their weddings we are getting off on the cheap. The wedding complete will be about 13 thousand dollars. And for everything we are getting I am told we can’t beat it. Now I would have been happy running off to Vegas and doing it but the looks I got when I said that were not good. This is her first and only wedding so she wants the dream wedding. This I can very much understand and it’s very much within reach. So this is our plan and I can’t wait to see her walking down that aisle. I know right now and even a year from now I feel like the luckiest man in the world.

What a year so far.

2008-05-23T12:25:00.000-07:00

Wow this has been one hell of a whirl wind of a year. And I mean a full year. This time last year I never would have though I would be in the position that I am in today. I have a job that I really like what I am doing. I feel a bit over my head sometimes but I love it none the less. I have an apartment that while small it’s really nice and I like it. It’s good for me and I don’t really have company other than my girlfriend that is. And last but not close to least. My gorgeous, stunning fiancé. Yes I did say fiancé, I asked her to be my wife and she said yes. So next year in mid May I am going to be officially off the market. Not that I have been on the market lately as it is. It’s been great and we are very very happy. I mean this has been a great time and I never get tired of seeing her. The only real time we are not together is when we are at work. I can’t believe it. Oh man I have so much stuff to plan my god this is going to be great.

I wish Zombies ate my Neighbors

2008-04-29T17:28:00.000-07:00

So this is my time to sit down and write. I have felt like I have had a lot to say but no time to put all that down on paper so to say. Life and love has been very good to me lately. I mean work is a bit stressful but nothing too badly. I think it’s just the issue of getting settled into a new job and a new position. I did start to hate my new neighbors. The people that they are letting into my complex are the pick of the litter it would seem. Now some of them are better than others but they are still pains. For the most part I like to be a nice and friendly neighbor. I don’t like to be too loud or a pain. But the people that have moved in around me are so rude. I have one girl near me that can’t for the life of her remember where she lives. The reason I say that is because she keeps coming to my apartment. Twice she has just up and walked into my apartment thinking it was hers. Once my girl and I were asleep but that door opening up woke us up very quickly. I did get a chance to talk to her later and she said sorry and she hasn’t done it since. See at least she was sorry and it’s something she really isn’t trying to do. Now the people below me are a different story all together. I mean I have lived around tweekers before but this is a special type of fun for me. The idiots below me stay up until about 4:30 in the morning. And when I say they stay up I mean they are outside talking loud and bouncing all around their apartment. When I say bouncing I do mean bouncing I can feel it thru my floor. Oh man, it doesn’t help matters that they are smoking pot and not really worried about who smells it or can hear them. Yea this is not good neighbors here. I am just glad that they will be gone soon. Seems the scuttlebutt is that they will be evicted very soon. I couldn’t happen to better people.

Damn it I can't believe this.

2008-03-21T09:47:00.000-07:00

So I have been wanted to sit here and write about my vacation and how great it was. Or even about how things have been with my new girlfriend. For some reason one thing or another has gotten in the way. But something happened last night that just kind of pissed me off. I am walking down the street from my girls place. Next thing I know some random guy is yelling out of his car. “You’re not wanted here, go back to Compton you fucking Nigger”. I stopped and looked up just to see if I heard this idiot correctly. Now the area that my girlfriend lives in is a very upscale family area. It’s in a beach community called Huntington Beach. This is an area of town that is mostly surfers or upper middle class families. Before I moved to my present apartment in Newport Beach I use to live in Huntington and to tell you the truth I never had a problem. I am a very easy going guy that makes friends for the most part with anyone really. You know I am not even pissed off about what the guy said really. It’s more of how I reacted that has me more upset. I felt like I wanted to just get really violent. I felt that this coward that couldn’t even say these things to my face needed be punched in the face. It’s a strange feeling for me. This is something that at this point in history I though we might be pass things like this. Hell we have a black man running for president right now. Yet I can’t walk from the store to my girlfriend’s apartment without being accosted. Oh what a country we live in.

And the Story so far.

2008-02-14T16:44:00.000-08:00

It has been a while since I have posted. The main reason is because life has become just one steady stream of work. It seems that I all I do now a days. But I can tell you what I have never been happier about it. Work has been going well and I am the happiest I have ever been. Things in my life for the most part have been going very well.
The issue I have been having lately is jealousy. Not from me or my girlfriend. It’s coming from my ex-fiancé. Since telling her that I have a new girlfriend she has been texting me more and more. And she has even said that she is jealous of what she has let get away. Now if she would have said this while I was still single it would be one thing. I would have been all up for giving it a try. But why the moment I get a girlfriend and I am happy does she now want to be jealous of me being happy. I was talking with another friend of mine and she said it’s because she is unhappy right now. Well you know what that is just too bad. I can’t believe now that I am happy she tries to pull something like this.
I was going to end my post above but today I had one hell of a morning. With the new job I now have a new pay schedule. The problem with this is that I am getting one more paycheck then I am use to. That means each check I do get now is lower than the one I use to get with the other job. This shouldn’t be much of a problem for most people. It’s just something that I will have to get use to. The reason I bring this up is. This morning I had to pay my rent. I was late because of the new schedule but it wasn’t a big deal. Well the big deal came when I needed to go and pick up a wire transfer this morning. My father sent me some money to go on my trip with. My parents always do this to me thinking that never have enough. So my plan was going to be to try and get ahead a little bit and pay off a couple of bills a little early. I went to four different places to pick up this money. Each place had one reason or another why their machines were down. I have never heard of this. How is it that for different money machines could be down within a one mile area? And the sad part of it, none of them knew when they might get fixed. It’s sad that people don’t care enough to at least fix the machines they need to do their job.

First step is the hardest.

2008-01-16T11:46:00.001-08:00

I have been forgiven, and I can’t be happier about it. Our relationship is stronger now and it’s good. It’s been a very interesting couple of weeks. A got to meet my parents this pass weekend. LOL I tried to warn her about them but even that wasn’t good enough. My parents are a strange pair. I love them to death but it’s very clear where I get my sense of humor. Well the day went very well and my parents loved her. And she loved my family also. It was great to get that little bit of the relationship out of the way. Oh on the note of our relationship. After the visit with my parents we had a long drive back home. On the way home we had a really deep talk about what we are doing and how we feel about each other. We are really taking baby steps and making sure we talk about things. She likes me and I for sure like her. But the problem is that she is very scared about where all this is leading. But we have stopped acting like this is nothing but friends with benefits. We are a couple and we are dating. It’s funny but mostly everyone we know already thinks that we are a couple before we would admit it. Her family has been asking and asking ok so what is our relationship because we seem like more than friends. We haven’t been just friends for a long time. We’ve been more of a couple for about a month now. Even people we have met on the street can see it. So the first step is just admitting it.

Wake up you idiot I'm talking to you.

2008-01-09T15:17:00.001-08:00

Ok I am an idiot. Yea I had to say this after what happened this weekend. I am an idiot just for the fact that I fell asleep while in a very very serious conversation. Yea my girl and I were having a great conversation. It was very open and honest. We talked about our relationship, children and where we are headed. And pretty much in the middle of talking about all this I just pass out. So she went to sleep very disappointed in me. I can really understand what she is talking about. She opened up to me and what do I do I fall asleep without saying good night or even “Honey lets talk about this tomorrow”. Yea I would be upset also. It’s almost like I didn’t care or something. We talked more about what happened and while she does know I was tired she is still very hurt by it. Well next month we are going on a cruise together and I have a few surprises in store for her. I am going to get a limo to take us to the cruise port and have flowers sent to her the day before. Yes I am really pouring it on. But to tell the complete truth I was going to do this way before we started having this problem. So it’s just me going forward with plans as I thought about. Can’t wait it will for sure be the most fun I have had in a long long time.

I'm Free I'm Free

2008-01-03T14:39:00.000-08:00

I have to say I am very glad that I put off writing till today. After an 11 day vacation from work I am now back in this hell hole. But the good news is it’s only for 2 more weeks. I am off this sinking ship and safe. We were lucky to get a few days off over the holidays. It was much needed and very welcomed. Well It would seem that a few of us used that time very wisely. I say this because I am not the only one that is starting the New Year off on the good foot. Two others are leaving the company also. So the hole from the Iceberg is getting bigger and bigger. Oh man it’s a great feeling to get a new job and not worry about this company anymore. I mean from the boss who hates to talk to other human’s offline. I mean why can’t your boss call you into his office and talk to you? You mean you have to have a webcam and IM to ask me a simple question? You are an idiot boss. It’s amazing that even after driving this company into the ground you won’t even care. You will move on to the next bunch of idiots that will pay you loads of money just to make a website and destroy their company. Yeaaaaa you that is for sure.

Now New Years Eve was a great and wonderful day. I got to hang out with my girl and her friends. It would seem that “my girl” and I have been seeing each other for about 3 months. It’s amazing that it’s been this long because it doesn’t even seem like it’s been that long. Well the first thing that her friends ask me once my girl is out of ear shout is “what’s up, you guys together or what?” Yea you know the question that you really don’t want to answer. At least I didn’t because I didn’t want to put my foot in my mouth. I know to tell the truth I would love to be with her but I know how scared she is over being hurt. She doesn’t show any less affection toward me. We act like a couple in every way. But I do understand how she feels and why she isn’t ready to say if we are or not. I just said that we are having fun and that we are taking it one day at a time. Now with that being said. There is something to be said when someone has too much booze in them. After a few too many drinks my girl decided to let it all spill out. She told me how she feels and why she hasn’t said anything yet. I decided that it would be better to just not talk about it while she was drunk. I didn’t want her to say something she didn’t feel comfortable saying right then and there. But we did clear the air so we are still going strong and enjoying what we have. It’s been a great time and it’s still going.

Damn it's a Zoo out there.

2007-12-14T11:44:00.000-08:00

Man it’s been a couple of weeks since I have posted and there are two things I wanted to get off my chest. None of this is bad but I have been meaning to write for about a week now. The first thing is I forget just how rural the area I work in really is. I mean the amount of wild life around this office just amazes me. There have been times I have gone outside to make a phone call and there are rabbits just hopping around. Another time I was in the parking lot and a roadrunner walking around. And I think the topper was I was walking up the street from the office when a fox was kind of just looking at me from up the street. At first I though it was some kind of dog but at second and third glance I knew it was a fox. Man I am amazed just how much wildlife there really is in California. And this is in the city so I really think it might blow my mind if I was to go to the woods. Oh well. Now to the other thing that has been on my mind lately. Well I have noticed that A and I have been spending a lot of time together. As a matter of fact out of a five day week I think there were only 2 days I spend away from her. And we are having a great time spending some really quality time together. Now here is the thing. The moment that any talk or slight joke about our relationship comes up she kind of freaks out. I’m not talking about if we are sitting around joking about things. I am talking about one of those back handed jokes that don’t seem like a joke. But she does freak out none the less. I can tell she wants to be with me and that she really does like me. But I also can tell that she is very scared of commitment right now. I’m really not sure how she will get over this or even if she can. We have serious conversations about it but she says the same thing. “I don’t want to mess things up by moving to fast” This I understand and can live with. I just don’t want to move to fast either. I have dated enough rubber room inmates to know that I need to not just jump into something. But we are having fun and treating this like we are dating and not just a booty call arrangement. That is a step in the right direction I think.

Monday night date night.

2007-12-04T13:42:00.001-08:00

The feel of a good woman is wonderful. Damn finding a woman that isn’t insane is also wonderful. My new friend A has been great. We laugh we have fun we really just enjoy each others company. The funny part is that she still says she doesn’t want anything serious. But it’s turning out that we are only seeing each other. I am spending time with no one else. So last night the plan was for her to pick me up from work and we were going to pick up a bag at my place and then go to her apartment. Now that was the plan but not how it went. We picked up my bag and then went to dinner. Now I had forgotten that it was Monday night football. So we went to get food and watch football. We had a great time. Then after dinner instead of going to her place we decided to just go back to my place because it was closer. Now at some time on the way to the car we decide to go play pool. We really had a great time playing pool and air hockey. And for the capper of the night. We decide to go for ice cream after all that. So this was my date night. It wasn’t planned to start off like that but this is how it ended. And I have to tell you this was the most relaxing night I have had for a long time. I look forward to seeing her each and every time.

Cirque Du Fun

2007-11-27T15:05:00.000-08:00

So today is my third date with my new friend. What’s funny about this is that we have been going out for about two months at this point. We have been on really only two dates. Our first date and then the one other date where we hung out with my friends. Tonight we are going to see a Cirque Du Soliel show, it’s called Corteo. I have seen this show before, hell it was just a couple of months ago. My friend has not ever seen the show before. As a matter of fact she hasn’t even really heard about it. She did send me a text last night telling me just how excited she is to be going. This is one of the things that I really love doing. Showing something new to someone is one of the best feelings. Introducing something new to someone that has never experienced it before is great fun. So tonight will be great fun for us both.

One or the other please.

2007-11-21T14:54:00.001-08:00

Man, I can’t believe how things go in my life. I really think that we are tested to see just what our breaking points are. At this point things are going well at least in my relationships. But my career has been rough to say the least. I love the industry that I am in but for some reason finding a good job that stays good is really hard. I tend to get jobs that are great for a while. Then the next thing I know either they hire someone else who wants to take the company in a whole new direction. Or they just begin to fall apart because they are not making any money. I would love to get on with a company that is going to be around for a while. And I need to learn how to deal with idiots better. I tend to not be very forgiving when it comes to them. And that has gotten me in trouble.

On another note I am at a bit of a crossroads. I don’t know how to feel. On one hand I have a very nice and beautiful woman that seems to really like me. Yet she is so scared to commit that the littlest joke freaks her out. Now on the other hand I really still have feelings for an ex of mine. It finally came out that we both feel the same way. We both knew how we felt but were a little scared to admit that we had those same feelings. So I have two women that I have feelings for but neither is in a position to return the feelings that I have. One is not really ready and the other is gun shy. Man if it’s not one thing it’s another with me and women. I’m not really sure why it is that I can’t just find a normal female with no issues. Yea yea not I’m not really sure if that is in this reality either. Oh well life is what you make it and I will just see where it takes me. Work my hardest and do my best. Hell what else can this crazy world ask of us?

The Search is on.

2007-11-19T12:19:00.000-08:00

Ok so its 2 days until Thanksgiving. I have been trying to sit down and write something but I have been beyond busy at work lately. Well busy is a little bit of an overstatement. I have been stressed more than anything else. It would seem that the idiot that they hired wanted more money. So what does that mean? It means that a few people got fired and their jobs are now outsourced to somewhere else. So do I feel safe in my job not even close. I have spent a few weeks looking for a new job and also talking with friends and people I know in the industry. I am going through this in a totally different way then I did before. Yea so this has been a very stressful couple of weeks. It's starting to get to me but it nothing I can do but find something new. Try my best and keep my nose clean. Oh man this is so going to be fun.

On another note my relationship with my friend has been going well. We spend time with each other as much as we can. But the interesting part is that I am not sure if we are moving into the area of a real relationship yet. It really seems like we are but the moment that it might come up she gets a bit scared. At this point I'm not really worried about it. It will just have to play out how it plays out. It's the only way that we can do it so. I will let it play out and see if she comes around or not. So on to the holidays oh how I can't wait.

OH just kill me slowly you sweetheart.

2007-10-31T12:58:00.000-07:00

I been trying to write out this post for about a week now. The reason is that it seems that things have been going well and I didn't know how to put things. Well after the last post I did go out with the young woman my friend set me up with. Yea so with that I have to say this has been the longest week of my life to tell the truth. Now with me saying that you would think that it was a bad week. It was very much the opposite really. The girl my friend set me up with has one thing on her mind and pretty much nothing else. I know that sounds funny coming from a guy but it's true. The first night we went out everything was very much above board. I was a gentleman all night. Well it started getting late and since I didn't drive she offered to take me home in the morning. This was all good to me so we went to sleep very innocent and all. Well all that lasted until the morning where she decided that things have to move along a little faster. And that is all she wrote. In the words of the friend that set us up. She is going to kill you if you keep up this pace. I though she was just being funny but after this pass weekend It's a done deal. If we keep up this pace I am doing do die. Die happy yes but die none the less. OH well it's much better than having someone that hates sex isn't it? So I am going to sleep tired and waking up even more tired. Oh well what a hell of a way to go you know?

Want to be my Wing-Woman???

2007-10-16T13:10:00.000-07:00

Oh damn now I am in a good mood. I am in a good mood because women make great wonderful wingmen. I went out this past weekend and really had a good time. I was with a friend of mine and she was my wing-woman so to speak. Well right when we get to the bar we go outside to hangout. We were sitting at our table maybe about 20 minutes when I went to kind of look the place over. I though I would look around and let my friend maybe talk to the guy she was checking out without me standing there. Well I go and then return and not only is she not talking to the guy. She is now talking to the girls that were sitting right next to us. I was like well ok I though you were going to talk to the guy. She decided to talk to them instead. And this is where it's great to have a wing-woman. I had told her one of the girls was cute. Well it seems that my friend had told the cute one what I said. Now if that was another guy it would have been looked at as a pick up line and the convo would have stopped right then and there. But the women at the table just giggled and invited me to sit with them. After that we just all talked and I got a chance to talk to the one I liked a few times alone while they went out dancing. It was a great night all around and now I have a date with a cute girl. Here is to women being the best wing-women ever. `

Damn it one more round please

2007-10-07T18:37:00.000-07:00

Oh why oh why do I drink so much? Wait a better question is how can I drink so much? It’s now Sunday evening and I am starting to feel just a little bit better. My Saturday was a busy one. I had to run some errands so I got an early start. Everything I had to do was all in the same area. Also it was only about 2 miles away. So being it a great day around here I decided to walk. I felt good about it and it was great exercise. After running the errands I went to lunch. There is a place around here that is called the YardHouse. It has a shyt load of beers on tap. I am thinking something around the number of 150 beers at least. So this is how my day started. Oh what a great start to the day. After having a couple of drinks at YardHouse I decide to come home and continue the fun. I was talking to a friend online. She was going to go out with some of her friends. Since she was going to be around here we decided maybe we could have some fun. So she comes over we have some fun then I head to my bar and she heads to hers. Fun was had by all. Now this is where it gets a little bit interesting. In July of 06 I went to this same bar and met two women. While both were very nice I really hit it off with just one of them. We got together that night and enjoyed some time together. We went out a couple of times and then things just kind of went south between us. I didn’t understand why it just did. I cared but it wasn’t going rule me. So I am at the bar last night. I see this woman that I have seen before but tonight she seemed really familiar. She looks like the friend of the woman that I had hooked up with the year before. So after drinking I think the 6th beer of the night I got brave. I went up to talk to her and asked her if she was who I though she was. Well she was and before I could even ask how her friend was she popped the news to me. Within the year and couple of months the girl that I dated had gotten married and had a baby. Damn I have heard of people moving fast but damn really? Now this had thrown me a bit. Not because she was happy. But mostly because within a year she had found complete happiness that I had been looking for. While she is happy I am barely one step pass where I was a year ago. I do have a new job where I can get back on my feet. I also have an apartment of my own. While I have had made some progress in my life I don’t really feel like it’s been enough. Yea I think this might have been the thing that pushed me to drink those 4 last drinks. Yea just when you feel low about yourself just drink more booze. We all know how that helps things out. Well I’m on the wagon for now. At least for the week or so lets see how that goes.

And the Search is on again.

2007-09-25T10:12:00.000-07:00

I can't believe that I am finally “putting pen to paper” so to say. The last couple of weeks have been insanely busy. From being so sick that I though I was going to die to freaking out about where my job was going. I am not sure if I am coming or going anymore. So let me start from my last posting. First thing is I haven't really been looking for a date or anything like I said it's been crazy. I tried to talk to a young lady but as I was having the plague coming on that really didn't go anywhere. The Plague as I put it started in my office. You know one of those bugs that just won't be happy until it hits every living thing in the office. It just happened to be my turn with it. It was three weeks of just coughing and no sleep because of the coughing. And within that time I stayed home only once. What can I say I am not a big skipping work kind of guy. But I do have to say I did have a few friends that were really worried about me. Which for me is great because I am a huge baby when I get sick. I bitch and whine like a 5 year old. Any woman that marries me has something great to look forward to.
The other thing that has been going on right now is the job. I know I was raving about this job when I got it. But I am starting to notice a trend. Startup companies are not the place to be if you are trying to start a life. They are not for the career coward. The reason I say this is because a start up company will go from good to bad overnight. And I am not making this up about overnight. The bosses will tell you everything is going well and you have nothing to worry about next thing you know there are layoffs and we all “need to tighten up our belts”. This is what happened. The company wanted to find new ways to make some capital or even some capital for that matter. So they decided to hire a new gun to give us some fresh ideas. Seems this guy really has some issue working with people. The first week in the job he tells everyone in his department It's his way or the highway. But also that he is a big fan of outsourcing work. Oh but if you do your job you should be alright. The very next week at the end of the week everyone gets laid off. WTF? If this was a bigger company they wouldn't go for this because it would open them up for all kinds of legal actions. But no that isn't really a though in a start up. Why? Because at a start up there really isn't a HR department to speak of. It is a fly by night type of thing where you can make a lot of money but you can also lose your shirt. It all depends on what type of management and scope that the guys running the company have. The guy now loves shiny new things. Everyone here is just waiting for the shine he had for this company to wear thin and he moves on to the next great thing. OH well at least the job hunt should be a little bit better this time around. At least I can only hope it will be better.

Getting back into the game

2007-09-06T13:31:00.000-07:00

I can't believe this pass week. For some reason California has been moved to the surface of the sun. I just move into a new apartment and I can't sleep. Why can't I sleep? Because I have to get up every twenty minutes and towel off. I mean how the hell is it that I am dripping wet just by sleeping? I am beyond happy that the heat wave has passed.
So I've been having a really good time on the weekends. Even though I have a friend coming by some weekends and I have been having more fun there is something missing. Damn I am thinking about starting my search for a girlfriend again. Oh don't get me wrong I don't mean I am going out tonight and finding a girlfriend. It just means that for the first time in a while I am open to the option of having one. It's been a while since I have really had a girlfriend. I miss the sharing of special time together. And no I am not talking about sex. I'm talking about waking up early on a Saturday morning and taking a drive. No plans or anything just pointing the car and going. Or planning a vacation that the two of you will go on and look forward to every day till that great day is here. There are some real advantages to a girlfriend that a f'buddy just doesn't fill. A friend and I were talking about this the other day. It's to the point that we have friends with benefits but it's not the same as it use to be. Now it's friends in a real term. Not just come over lets have some fun and then you leave. Its more of if this person was in the same spot that I was in it would be much better. It's not just sex anymore. I don't know I guess I am just going to put myself out there and see where that takes me. Oh damn put me in coach I'm ready to play.

Stupid people must be punished

2007-08-27T11:35:00.000-07:00

That's it I give up, surrender, throw in the towel, give up the ship that is just it. What the hell am I talking about? I am talking about trying to understand women. This mostly has to deal with two females that I know. I know I have spoke of the witch that stood me up for my birthday because she though I was pushing for sex. Well this witch started emailing me lately and it seems the latest news is that she is now pregnant. OH so wait you go out with me for 2-3 months and you thing I am moving fast? Yet then you start going out with some other guy and with in 3 months you are pregnant? You lying two face witch. I seem a little upset, hell yea because when I asked her what the hell are you talking to me for now? I mean the way we left things before didn't speak to us ever talking again. And this dumb broad had the nerve to tell me I don't know. “ I don't know” You stand someone up for their birthday no less and you act as if nothing happened and then you give a BS story about how you got scared off? I'm sorry but I wanted to jump through the computer and kick her right in the ass.
The Second silly female that got my hair what's left of it standing up is an ex. She calls me up saying how upset she is because her boyfriend just dumped her. Now the reason I am pissed off at her is because she has become this major needy female. When we were dating she was anything but needy. She was very independent and if this guy was treating her the same way he would have been the one being dumped. She has a 10 year old and this guy had the balls to break up with her in front of the kid and then tell her “she can blame her son for this.” I don't know which one I would want to kick more. Him for saying something only a prissy asshole would say. Or her for tell me the next day they are going to work it out. Are you serious? This so called guy wants you to put him in front of your Son. You blood. I swear I hear crap like this and it makes me glad that I am single. Damn I'm done with my rant for the moment but damn it there are some stupid stupid people out there.

Happy happy home

2007-08-20T12:11:00.000-07:00

Oh my god it's been two weeks. Two weeks of living on my own. Ok wait let me explain I have always had roommates. Either they have been family members, girlfriends or just friends. I have really never been on my own. So for the last two weeks I have been living alone and without anyone to bother me. So far so good. I have been slowly meeting my new neighbors and so far they have all been kind of cool. I haven't gone around to the neighborhood yet but I am working on doing that next weekend. Just jumping on the bicycle and riding down to the pier. It shouldn't be that far. As a matter of fact I am only a 10 minute walk to the water. So a bike ride shouldn't be more than 15- 20 minute bike ride to the beach. It really feels good to be on my own, I'm really enjoying it big time.

My god did that just jump at me or not??

2007-08-07T15:46:00.000-07:00

Oh my god life has been one hell of a busy time these days. I have been wanting to write about the toga party and also a few other things that have happened in the last couple of weeks. So lets start off with the toga party. It was a good time for sure. The day started off kind of bad just because the party was in a suburb of Hell. The reason I say this is because when we I got up to take my friend to work at 5am, it was 80 degrees outside. What the hell is going on in California. There is no reason for all this damn heat. Now when I went to pick her up I don't know how hot it was but sweat shouldn't drip off of people from sitting. As a matter of fact sweat shouldn't be dripping off of people 1 minute after leaving a air condition room. Yes this is what happened. If anyone comes to California stay out of Riverside. Go to the beach hell even go to Disneyland you will thank me for that bit of news. Now we went to our hotel after I picked her up. It was a nice place really. We had a couple of hours to kill before the party so we just hung out and relaxed. At about 8 o'clock we got dressed in our costumes. Now I should have tried on my costume before now. My god this is a little short to be wearing out in public. Not a problem I have a pair of shorts that I can wear under the toga. We got to the party around 9:30 and it was a site to behold. There were people with costumes that either they rented or they had them made. I mean there were some really good toga. I think one of the best ones that I saw was a little purple number that this woman with the biggest boobs I have ever seen. For the most part I am very much a gentleman. I always look people in their eyes when talking with them. She bends down and picks something up when one of those breast came out to see what was going on. Now I am at a lost for words. I am having trouble putting two words together. This went on for about 5 minutes before she puts the girls away and I can speak again. I mean this isn't the first breast I have seen but damn it just surprised the hell out of me. And I have to tell you the rest of the night went kind of like that. There were some a lot of fun going down that is for damn sure. My date and I had a really good time and couldn't wait to go to a little get together that they were having the next week.
One week later we had an invite to come to a little get together at a club with the Host of the toga party. This party was a much more subdued event. It was more of just people just talking and getting to know each other. It was a really fun night getting to know new people and some of the people that we talked to before. This was enjoyable for the fact that people were a lot more relaxed and easy going. It really was a good time. I met a lot of people and we have started talking and might have to put something that is a little bit more private. Going back to unpacking my apartment and I good.

Toga Toga Toga

2007-07-24T10:29:00.001-07:00

Oh hell yea another party to go to. One of the people from the last party sent my friend an invite to a new party. So she calls me up and asks if I might be free to go with her. I told her I might be interested. Then she told me some details of what theme the party was going to be? It was going to be a toga party. At this point I now say I am in. I just need to get out of a work thing going on this weekend. LOL my weekend went from going to a Comic Book convention for work to going to a Toga party with friends. I don't know about any of you but the toga party wins out each and every time. OH and yes you did read that right a comic book convention. But like I said that was for work so there. LOL So I got a toga from an online costume shop and it's should be here on Wednesday. My friend got a hotel room near where the party is so that we don't have to drink and drive. Now this is turning into a really good weekend.

Time to move in

2007-07-16T13:42:00.000-07:00

One hell of a busy month of July. I now have a place to live. It's funny the way it worked out. I went to put a deposit on an apartment. I get to the place and they tell me that place that I just called them about two days before. That apartment has been rented. OH damn I guess I have to go and start from scratch. Damn in my price range there really wasn't much in the area. Damn it damn it damn it I had no idea what I was going to do at this point. So I go back home and get online. Man I have to find a place that is in a decent area and I can afford. As I'm looking around I see an apartment in a great area and within my price range. It's even in a place that I went before and though I couldn't afford it. They were running a deal and the place is now in my range. Hot damn was one of my first thoughts. The Second one was I better hurry up and get down there. I don't want to miss out on this one. Well I am glad that I did. This place was packed with people looking to get an apartment. Well I had a little bit of trouble getting my apartment but I was able to work everything out. I was very lucky about it and believe me I was beyond happy that it could be worked out. I am moving in on the 3rd of august and I can't wait. I have been getting all of the things that I really need and it feels good. Now one thing that has been interesting I have been growing out my hair. Now for me this is a huge thing. I don't have hair. I don't like having hair. But for some reason I had forgotten why I hated it. Now I remember why I can't stand it. Before I move in I am going to get my head shaved and now I will be happy. Two weeks and counting.

Well there is something new.

2007-07-05T11:46:00.001-07:00

You know whats the hardest part about writing for me? It's the fact that sometime I really have nothing going on in my life. Then again, there are times I have way too much going on and I can't even begin to know where to start. The last couple of weeks have been the latter. Things have been just busy busy busy. I kind of met a new friend and she invited me to a party. Well this turned out to be kind of a special type of party. I don't know if any of you have heard about swinging but my new friend told me about this party and hey it sounded like something fun. I am a very open guy so I don't have any problem with the concept of this type of party. So hey why not? Well saying this and going trough with it are two different things. I was beyond nervous the day before the party. You know that nervous feeling of the nerd kid that gets an invite to the party the cheerleaders and jocks are throwing?? Yea that is the feeling I had getting ready and leading up to the party. But I have to admit my friend was great and she answered any and all dumb question I might have had. We got to the party, it was being held in at a very nice house. I take that back it was more like a Mansion. This place was huge. Now let me say this up front. You always have an image in your head of the way things are from movies and pornos but it was nothing like that. It really was like a house party. There was a range of people. Some older some younger. There were thin people and not so thin people. But everyone there were very nice and really friendly. They got even more friendly when they knew that this was my first party. LOL yea I was the newbie there. I won't go into all the details of the party but I had a great time. I even plan on going to other parties and see if this was just a fluke. But we will see how that goes.

Vegas how I love you

2007-06-14T11:28:00.000-07:00

Ok so this is how things are going right at this moment. I am relaxed and in a good mood. I went to Las Vegas with a friend of mine. This was like our second date. Yea a second date in Las Vegas this could go either way. We have been friends for about 3 years. We met online and have been known to talk for hours on in. Well she moved back to California to stay with family. We have been trying to meet up for drinks, dinner or what have you. So when I told her I was going to Las Vegas with friends. I decide to invite her along. I have to say it was one of my best ideas I have had in a very long time. The Friday we leave started out kind of bad. At least it did for me. I was struck with a bout of insomnia. So I wake up at 2 am and for the life of me I can't get back to sleep. Oh well might as well make sure I have everything and then leave for work. Maybe i can get something done at work before I leave early. My friend D has to work also so we are going to meet up around 1 pm. I had a friend of mine came to pick me up from work so that I didn't have to get a taxi to the airport. I so didn't want to spend the cash already. Now this is the one real problem to happen. My friend doesn't drive the freeways in Southern California. California freeways are not very good to new drivers or even drivers from out of town. While there are some freeways that are better than others. The one that she has to drive is one of the worst for sure. She was a little late to meet up with me mostly because I gave her the wrong directions. Yea yea my fault I know I sometimes forget that others don't know the roads like I do.
The flight was great and we had no problems getting to the hotel. Now when I got the hotel room I though I just got your normal room. At least for the price that I paid it should have been your average Las Vegas hotel room. Well when we get up to the room and open the door my god. It was a suite. The room was huge. I couldn't believe we had the right room. I mean I wasn't going to tell them they gave us the wrong room but damn it was huge. The first night was the most exciting. We both just needed time away to enjoy. And let me tell you my friend enjoyed the hell out of the bar. She is not a big girl yet she had about 14 drinks before the night was over. And the amazing thing was she was still standing and remember the whole night. OH yea I am parting with her again. LOL The rest of the weekend was more of the same. Just a bit of site seeing. We did a bit of gambling and ate some food. This had to have been one of the most laid back relaxing trips to Vegas I have ever taken. We will for sure hang out again. But being friends with her is one of my better ideas I have had.

Let me tell you all a Secret

2007-06-04T11:37:00.000-07:00

Ok first thing. We men are not mind readers. When you tell us something we take it as the way it is. We are not trying to read your mind. We are not trying to get to the real meaning of what you are saying. We go off of face value and believe that what you are saying to is for real. The reason I bring this up is I heard back from my birthday date. After two months she decides to email me to tell me “too bad I pushed her”. Well after the first reaction of hearing from her after two months. I had to say WHAT THE FUCK are you talking about? The whole night that we had planed was always something that we both talked about. Every step of the way I would ask is this alright? Is that alright with you? I never just did something and not tell her about. And every step of the way not only did she agree. But she said she was looking forward to doing this. Now she is trying to tell me she got scared off and just didn't know how to tell me she was scared. I'm calling BS on that one. Well with all that being said I do have to admit. I am not one of the more tactful people when I have been screwed over. I had no problem telling her that she had been replaced and I didn't even care what she had to say. Now I have been planning on going to Las Vegas for about a month now. I needed to get away and have some fun. I had talked my best friend into going also. So it was going to turn into a boys weekend in Vegas. Yes I know it could be dangerous. Well his wife though so also so now she is going. And his cousin was also going and he was going with his girlfriend. OH great, I'm going to Vegas with two couples. Yea right I would lose my damn mind. So a friend of mine that I have been talking to for the last 3 years. She came back to Calif from PA back in January. We had dinner with a couple of mutual friends of our. We had a great time and spend the evening laughing and having a great time. Well we had been wanting to go to Las Vegas for the last two years. This is the first time that the trip was really something we could do. So We are going to Vegas and having one hell of a good time. I will have to take a lot of pictures and let you know just how things go. Now we are friends so it's not like we are going as a girlfriend/boyfriend thing. It's just two friends splitting a trip to Vegas. Now how does that sound as a make up for the birthday trip? LOL

Someone call in the Haz-Mat team.

2007-05-22T11:24:00.001-07:00

Ok so the apartment search has been looking up. I found a place not far from my place now. And believe it or not for coastal OC it's only about a 1000 a month. The sad part is that is about the norm for a studio in this area. Oh god why can't I hit the lotto numbers?
So this weekend I went to a concert. It was one of the local radio station big concert. The concert had like 15 bands playing. Starting at 1 and I think that it ended at like 11Pm. Damn it was one hell of a long day. I had a great time. Even watching some of the bands that I really didn't like. It was still a good way to spend a Saturday. But that being said there are just a few things that I have come to realize. One to go to a concert these days you have to take out a second mortgage. I mean damn 10 dollar beers? I mean damn at least you could have good beers. Not this Bud light crap for 10 dollars. And don't get hungry, cause the cardboard pizza or fake meat burgers might do a number on your stomach. Yea there were a few stories of food sickness going down. The other thing I noticed is there there is never enough bathrooms. I have never been to a concert where the womens bathroom line was shorter than about 15 minutes wait. Yea this day must have been just one of those days. I mean the line for both men and womens bathrooms were about 30-40 minutes. My god. There where people just whipping it out and pissing everywhere. Hell even the girls were off in the corner pulling up skirts and letting it drain out. Yea I know pretty picture I paint. But like I said this was one very long concert so this was going on all day. I could not wait to get home to be in a bathroom that I could have used and not felt like I needed a shower after. But I do have one story that I have to share with you all. So my friends and I were in the parking lot having a beer or two. There was a group of people. I think maybe the oldest in the party was maybe 23. Well they were drinking and laughing basically having a good time. But it seemed that their whole party had not gotten there yet. Well I was right on this account. Because about 30 minutes after we got there their friends showed up. Well one of the girls in this latest group seemed a little off. She was acting as if she had gotten the party going just a little bit earlier than everyone else. Well over the next 10 -15 minutes she kept getting in and out of one of the trucks. Well after one of the trips into the truck she came out and didn't look to well. She started talking with her boyfriend and then blam. Down she goes. Lucky for her he caught her. Unlucky for her she lost all bladder control right at this moment. This is one of those times where she is lucky no one had a camera otherwise she would never live it down. Yea passing out and pissing yourself before a concert. That is how you want to remember a day out with about 10 of your friends. Yea it was great when the cops showed up. They started talking to her and she seem to be a little bit more aware then just a moment ago. So it would seem that it wasn't booze that made her pass out more like drugs. At least that is what it seemed. The cops must have though the same thing because next thing you know they are checking her for track marks on her arms and between her fingers. Now this is the way to spend a Saturday out with friends for sure.
P.S. Sunday was boring just went shopping for stuff for the new apartment. More on that later.

Homeless in OC.

2007-05-14T11:41:00.001-07:00

Ok so I'm not homeless. But damn I never realized just how hard it was to find an apartment. At least trying to get it on your own. The sins of my youth have been catching up with me. I mean you always hear about if you don't watch your credit it makes it so much harder to rent apartments, buy a car and other stories. Now that I don't need or want a roommate it is really slapping me in the face just how much closer I should have paid attention to the bills. You know what it's not like most of it could have been avoided. Things happen in life and you just have to deal with it at the time and hope it works out. As of right now it does seem like things will work out for me. I do have a lead on a couple of apartments that my credit won't come back and bite me in my ass. Now I am just on a wait list and then I will be in like flint. Damn I think I just dated myself a little bit. In other news the job is going well and I am enjoying it. It's a really laid back company so there is no stress level at all right now. As of right now this is just what I need no more stress.
As for everything else. Not a damn thing new. Just trying to work on getting this apartment and then putting something other than an air mattress in it. OH well this is going to be a busy month for sure.

Just another week in Sunny Calif.

2007-05-09T09:35:00.001-07:00

Life is a strange and wonderful thing. No, I have not met someone new. I was just out over the weekend and noticed just how lucky I am to live in Calif. Yes rent is ungodly high. And there is more smog than anywhere else in the world. But there really is no where else I would rather live. As of right now I live maybe 2 miles from the beach. In a month, if I am lucky I am going to about 3 blocks from the beach. I'm working on getting a new apartment and it's a very cool place in a very nice area. There is not lack of things to do and places to go. That is what I really like about Orange County. If you find a place like Newport Beach or Huntington Beach, you can stay in your neighborhood and not get board. The last couple of weeks have been so busy with activity. I have been apartment hunting. The hunt has been going well. I will know next week if I am able to get the place that I am looking at. So that is the update so far. Nothing really fun or exciting but sometimes life is like that. Oh well I don't mind at all right now.

One week later.

2007-04-30T10:10:00.000-07:00

So it's a week after all the crap that I went thought for my birthday. Once I stepped back from the whole thing I realized what had me so pissed off. It wasn't that I was the most pissed off that I got dumped. It was the fact of how and when I got dumped. How is it that someone up until that morning was the person that you were seeing. And without any warning or sign just up and cut all contact. I can't see why she wouldn't have just done it the day before or even the week before. It's not like this is something that just happens. Oh well it happened and I moved on. I have to give much credit to my female friends though. I love them for being there for me and being my friends. They all said the same thing. “want me to beat her up?” Lol you have got to love friends like that.
On another note it's not my third week at the new job. It's good, I feel like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. All the guys that I work with are great. It's a very relaxed office and everyone here is friendly. I have to say I hate my commute but other than that it's great. Now I am looking for my new apartment. The funniest thing was that the friend that I am living with now tried to give me her opinion of what I should do. ?? wtf are you joking? She should be really happy that I am working so hard to get off her couch. Not telling me I should get a roommate. I tried of living with people for right now. But for now I want to be able to come home sit my ass on my couch and watch TV in my underwear. I don't want anyone talking or anything. Just leave me to myself and let me veg for a couple of hours.
Now tell me who wouldn't want to do that? I tell you what I am looking forward to it for sure.

Another reason not to enjoy a birthday.

2007-04-21T14:41:00.000-07:00

Well it’s April 21, 2007. I am now officially another year older. I was going to write this update yesterday. But I figured that I should wait until after my birthday night was over. Well the plan was to meet up with the girl I was seeing. We were going to go to dinner and maybe a movie or something more. It was going to be a very fun night. Well let’s just say none of that happened. All day I had been getting well wishes from all my friends and it was going well. I had talked with my friend the night before and everything was great. On Friday morning I get a message for a happy birthday and then a hope “that my day is better then hers”. At this point I had to ask what was going on. I never heard back from her. I mean we have plans for later that night. Well I never heard from her all night and from the look of it she has cut out all contact with me. I know the first question most would ask is what did I do wrong? Hell I have no clue. The day before everything was going well and we were still making plans on what to do. So it’s looking like the happiness I did have is replaced with a feeling of WTF? Damn here I though I had found a nice normal girl to go out with. And I was going to enjoy a good thing. Well that’s out the door. Hell anyone that would stand someone up on their birthday can’t be a good person anyway right? OH well back to the drawing board.

A New Start

2007-04-09T00:25:00.000-07:00

I really can’t believe what kind of year I am having. I mean while it may not have been one of the best years of my life it has for sure been a good one. Since my last post there really has been some good news. And the only reason I haven’t posted it as of yet was I was just waiting for the other shoe to drop so to speak. It seems that I have become known as the guy that is always down even when I am happy. Well can’t help it just had too much crap go right then go wrong all in the same time.
So Lets begin with the love life. That is great. The girl that I met before I went up to San Francisco has been wonderful. She is the type of girl that is happy just to spend time with you. We laugh smile and just have a great time spending time together. I think about her all the time and it seems that she does the same. Yea I know there is that whole half empty glass again. Well since I don’t get to post as much as I want I will tell you more about her after my birthday. Which is the 4/20. go ahead I have heard all the jokes, so no worries. Well her birthday is the 18th so we are going to spend that time together and have fun.
This birthday is going to be a very good one. Why you might ask, well other then the new girl? After about 2 years of really hard looking I have found a new job. LOL it’s funny but I couldn’t even admit that I had done it until I went in and signed all the paper work. I mean hell I didn’t even tell my parents until after the ink was dry. Now that really is waiting for the other shoe to drop. It’s a good company that I am really looking forward to working for. The really great thing about it is I will now be making the money that I should be. I am able to find my own place and really t life going. Well that’s all I got for now. Everyone be good and I ‘m going to work on my attitude.

Sorry for the wait.

2007-03-12T18:08:00.000-07:00

Damn it feels like forever since I last posted. Life has been beyond busy. And I mean busy on all fronts. Work, love life and home life. Lets start off with I can’t stop dating. I know I said I would but damn I am a human male. Well ok somewhat human that is. So I have gone out on a couple of dates. Nothing serious as of yet, just going out having a good time. Now on the career side of things its been nothing but roses. I decided to do something really big. There is a big convention that is held every year in San Francisco. I decided that I was just going to shell out the money and go up there. Now at this convention they have a career pavilion. There were about 50 companies there looking to hire people. You got face to face time with the people that are doing the hiring and the ones you want to talk to. This is what I needed to jump start my career and get out of the funk that I was in. It was rough for me to do this but I really saw it as a do or die type of thing. So I plan my trip and I tell a friend about it and that I will kind of be up her way. Hell we have been talking on Myspace and IM for over two years. I tell her about how my love life sucks. And she tells me about all the crap that goes on in her life. So it’s decided I will shoot over the 80-90 miles to meet up with her in Sacramento and kick it with her one night and fly out the next morning. Damn this is really going to turn into a good weekend if all goes as planed. Yea we all know how that goes. Well let me tell you thinks went better than planed that is for sure. I got to the Airport expecting a long line and just a hell of a time getting through security. Anyone that has been to LAX knows this is the norm. Well I get to the airport an hour ahead of time and it looks like they have closed the damn airport down. There are no lines anywhere. I mean it’s like it’s midnight and everyone is ready go home. But no it’s 6 pm on a Thursday afternoon. Ok so no ones outside they must all be inside. Damn it what world is this I get through the ticket counter and security at the airport within 5 minutes of getting out of the car. My god I have never gotten through LAX this damn fast. Ok at some point this trip is going to go wrong it has to my trips don’t start off this well. They either start off badly or end badly that has always been my luck. The flight leaves on time with no trouble. I even had an empty seat next to me. There are no problems with the flight at all. When the plane lands I get off and head straight to the Bart station and wait for my train. Damn if it isn’t nicer then the public transit we have down here in LA. Nice cushioned seats and it’s clean. Ok this is really going too well now. Ok my hotel is going to be a dumb. I get to my hotel and this place doesn’t even fit the price I paid for the room. It’s a really nice hotel. Very clean rooms and very helpful staff. I have to admit it is much better than the motel 6 I was going to stay at. As a matter of fact the staff was so helpful they ended up giving me a free pass to the convention that I was going to attend the next day. Wow that’s 200 dollars that I can spend in other ways now. Hot damn I am a happy camper now. The rest of the weekend kind of went in the same mode. It was one of the best work/vacations I have ever had in my life. After my whoring myself out for 3 hours to look for a job. (don’t get me wrong I had a great time and it went really well.) I left to explore Downtown San Fran. I loved the area. I couldn’t get enough of it. I wish I would have had an extra day I would have for sure made the most of it. There is so much history in Northern Calif. I tend to miss it living in the south where everything seems so plastic and fake. I didn’t stay out too late as I seem to be getting older and the knees can’t take walking anymore. But I get up early the next day and head out to meet my friend in Sacramento. I take the greyhound there. It’s a 2 hour ride but I have been on worst. My last day and night in Northern California was great. I spent it talking and laughing with friends that I have only talked to on IM or email. To see the person I have shared so much of my life with up close and face to face was great. Now when they say something online you can hear their voice and makes you laugh even harder. After this weekend I now have a renewed focus to really stay in touch with friends. And to get out more and enjoy life.

Damn not another Crazy

2007-02-14T22:57:00.000-08:00

Ok damn it that’s it I know I am a magnet for crazy women. I can’t believe I though I found a sane one this time. Damn how wrong I was. Went on one date, but talk to her damn near every day on IM. But now she is talking about love and crap like that. What the hell? Where did the dating go? I can’t believe what the hell goes through some peoples mind sometimes. Well that’s it from this point on I am just going to deal with me and only me for right now. No more going out on internet dating. No more going to bars and trying to pick up women. (Yea like that has been working for me anyway). Ok This is the plan I will get the new job and then start working on the love life. Yea that’s the ticket that is the plan from hear on out. Yea yea like that is ever going to happen. I am just going to enjoy life and be more careful. Oh and also get a supply of straight jackets to hold the nutcases at bay.

wow it's a brand new day

2007-02-11T05:30:00.000-08:00

Yes yes I know I said that Myspace is evil. But I have to admit something else. I am now dating a girl that I met off of there. We met on the site when she sent me an email. It’s funny we have so much in common. We spend hours on end talking and laughing. We have the same kind of humor. Which can be said is a bit of a scary thing. The only real problem right now would be that we live so far away from each other. It’s at least an hour’s drive to get to her. Also I am in the process of interviewing for at least 3 jobs. Not really sure what I am going to do or even which one of the jobs I really like. But if I do take any of the jobs it will establish what kind of life if any I have with her for sure.
Now on a side note, I posted part of my last post on my myspace page. I am kind of surprised but I really didn’t hear too much back off of it. I wasn’t expecting everyone to respond but did think that the people who I was writing about would. Oh well I am sure I will hear from them at some point. I mean I do talk to them from time to time. Well until next time everyone have a fun time and stay out of trouble that you can’t easily get out of.

damn Myspace. I can never hide.

2007-01-29T16:34:00.000-08:00

Hot damn so I am back online. All the computer problems over with and I am glad of this. I had a lot of stuff to write about that has been going on in my life over the last couple of weeks. But I have decided not to. What I am going to write about is the plague that is Myspace. This website has turned into something that no one can escape. If you don’t want someone in your pass to find you, don’t join this damn site. Now the reason I bring this up. I have never been a shy guy about the women I have dated or how things may have ended. I have had relationships just die and I have had them explode with the force of a supernova. But I have to say being on Myspace has taught me something very important. It has taught me that time does heal all. And the fact that I have ex-girlfriends from back when I was 18 years old. I am now 36 years old. The topper was my girlfriend from when I was 18 just found me on myspace. This is someone that I never though I would ever see again.
I can’t believe just how many of my ex-girlfriends are on my friends list right now. And I am kind of happy that I have come in contact with all of them again. It’s always interesting to talk to an ex given any amount of time afterward. There is one that I though I would hate till the end of time. There is another woman that I though oh well time to move on. I mean all of these women meant a lot to me. I am guessing that I must have been at least a good guy back then for them to contact me again. Hell at the very least maybe I was good in the sack. I don’t know what or why they might have looked me up online but I can tell you that I am happy about it. If only for the reason that I really did miss them. And if any of them do happen to read my blog I want you to know this. They have all had a hand in making me the guy that I am today. For better or for worst. And if anyone thinks they did a bad job please tell them it’s all their fault.

Damn that is alot of Cats

2007-01-17T14:32:00.000-08:00

Wow this has been one hell of an interesting start to the New Year. Not so much has happened to me but I have seen some weird crap. Now this won’t be in any real order but I am going to start with what I saw just this morning. I step off the bus at a little liquor store. I walk in and get my drink like I do almost every more. Now when I come outside I look over to a brand new car. I saw the car and the woman driving the car. An older heavy set woman with a skirt and top that might be a little bit too damn small. But I come out of the store and notice that there are two people in this brand new car and they are going at it like teenagers. Now this parking lot is not that big. They are about 15 yards from the front door of the store. As a matter of fact a couple of Swat officers just walked out of the place and are now talking at the front door. I mean damn I know people want to break-in a new car but damn I guess they really couldn’t wait to do it. Now that was just this morning and it was a mind bender. Now the other strange thing I saw was this homeless woman. It’s not that she is homeless that is strange. She is living in her car right now. But it seems that she has roommates in her car with her. Her roommates? About 4 or 5 cats I have not counted but I have seen at least 4 with movement of at least another 2 within the car. This care is a sub-compact and it’s filled with cats, clothes and kitty boxes. I just find it very interesting that someone would put more care for pets then they would for themselves. Oh and the other thing is she had a cell phone so there has to be some kind of money coming in somewhere.
Just seems that some people don’t have an idea of what is in the real world. I mean I don’t know if this person has a home but that is one of the major things I would work at if it was me. It’s strange I see people on the street and on the bus and have to wonder what is going through their minds or if anything is going on up there. In a very very sad way whatever is going on in my life seeing people like this kind of makes me feel better about what is going on in my life. I know this kind of makes me a bad guy but oh well.

New Year More drinks.

2007-01-03T12:35:00.000-08:00

It’s the 3rd day of the New Year. I must say I am positive that it will be a good year. So far this year I have met up with two very nice women. I even have a lot in common with both of them so things are going well. Now I do have to say one of them is a little intense when it comes to her professional football team. As a matter of fact I really don’t think that it would be safe to take her to a sport bar with other people around. The images of a very large bar brawl breaking out seems like it really might not be that far off from the truth. The other female is a huge Sci-fi fan. If there is one thing about me that I kind of keep to myself is that I am a huge geek. I love Sci-fi and everything about it. Comes to find out that we both share a fondness for the same show. OH man a fellow geek I am so giddy with joy. Ok that last line will never be spoken of in mixed company again.
I have a new outlook for the year. I’m going to live this year with a focus on improvement. One of the first things I got out of the way was kicking my best friend in the ass. Why you might ask? Well over the weekend I got the chance to sit down and talk to his wife. We don’t talk all that much since he and I go out to the bars without the women folk. Mostly so that I can get into as much trouble and he doesn’t have to explain it all later. Now the reason that we got into it was because I come to find out that his wife has been diagnosed with MS. Now some of you might ask now why would that be any of my business? Well in most instants it wouldn’t be. But this is kind of different. My best friend who I have known for the last oh 12 years, knows that my mother also has MS. He has listened to me talk about all the things that my family has had to go through and do to help her out. Yet when his wife who I know and am friendly with has the same thing I am last to find out really. I think that what it is that I am more hurt that he didn’t turn to me to ask me questions. Now his wife knows that my mom is sick with the same thing she has so we sat and had a long talk about everything that I have been through and what some of the things that my Mother has gone through. Now for good reason she is scared and wonders about her future. They have a baby that isn’t even a year old yet she is having problems holding her already. My friend is very pig headed so I know he is kind of in denial right now. It’s to be expected so I don’t fault him on that. I know for the first part of my Mom’s illness I was very much in denial.
So that is how my year has started out. I am putting last year behind me and moving forward at full speed ahead. I am not going to have last year hold me back or keep me down. This is the year that I come out of my shell and show just what I can do. And if all else fails. This is the year that I go on a rampage and end up in a rubber padded room. Either way I am going to make the most out of it and hope for the best. Talk to you all soon.

Someone kill that Elf

2006-12-21T11:13:00.000-08:00

I am sure that I have mentioned this before, but damn it I am going to say it again if anyone has missed it. I HATE THE HOLIDAYS!!!!!! This isn’t just your normal bah humbug type of hate. I hate how this time of year just turns into the biggest “buy me” this time. Nothing is really about giving or just cheer and happiness. It’s about how I can get me this or how much do I spend on this person. All of this as you can see has put me in the greatest of moods. But with all that said and done. I can’t wait for the holidays. I have a week off and really nothing to do. I am going to visit a couple of friends and the parents but other than that I am going to kind of be a bum for a week.
Oh yea but I do have a couple of dates set up for next week. Damn if I am going to have the free time I might as make use of it and meet new people. The date is with a nice girl a little bit older than I am. St is a “PK”, if you don’t know what a pk is it stands for preacher’s kid. It’s funny but it seems that “PK’s” fall into one of two groups. You have the ones that follow in the family business and become very holier than thou. Or you get the ones that become hell on two legs. They rebel against everything that they saw in the church and spend days rubbing it in their parents face. St seems to be the second of the two. But while she is a wild child it’s not to the point where I think I have to be worried about what would happen if we were ever police were to pull us over. I know this is going to be a fun day. We have talked on the phone and IM for a couple of weeks now and it’s been fun. One of the things that I am going to do in the New Year. I am going to be updating more. I am going to do it at night and that way I will be able to relax instead of trying to do it during work. Yea that’s working well.

I found the Unicorn.

2006-12-08T11:50:00.000-08:00

I can not believe just how busy I have been over the last couple of weeks. I have been trying to update this blog for almost a week now and every time I try something else comes up. Things have been just been kind of interesting. But the one thing that is settled is what I am doing in four months. Hell I have to have something to look forward to. The plan is to get a new tattoo and see one of the Cirque Du Soleil shows. I am pretty sure that this will fill up a couple of days and I will come back drunker then a skunk to say the least. Now this is the plan, how much of this plan I get done that is yet to be seen. So the job search has just been a pain. I came to realize that it’s been a full year since I was told that I would have a great job only to have it pulled right from under me. Looking back now I can say that joining this team might not have been a good thing. The project is still not done. I went into the store the other day and they are still talking about “coming soon”. When I was interviewing for the position the project was almost done back then. I have no idea what could have happened to mess up their deadline but oh well not my problem.
Ok I have noticed that I am a special kind of person. I can find the one woman that most can not. I have had the best luck in the world when it comes to women. How is it that I can find the only virgin in her 20’s? We are talking late twenties here. She is not a nun, she is not ugly. But she is a late 20’s virgin. Now me a highly sexual person what the hell am I going to do now? Damn it, only I can have this kind of luck. Damn damn damn I am so going to go crazy now.

The damn Holidays.

2006-11-26T22:19:00.000-08:00

Damn I can’t believe what kind of week I have had. I still have not found out about the job yet. The biggest problem being that it was a holiday week so you know no one worked the full week. But yet I am in a hurry to find a job. So of course since I am in a hurry no one else is. Isn’t that always the way? On another side the love life has taken one interesting turn. As of right now I have no less then four female friends open to dating. Now before the female friends that I have get up in arms. I said they are open to dating not that I am dating them. Right now I am not dating anyone really. I put the love life on hold just because life just sucks. Well things other then the love life. I met two of the women off of a dating website. My profile had been up there for about 2 months I had all but given up hope of meeting anyone off of those sites. Another woman I just ran into her and started talking with her. Again not really looking for anything but just striking up a conversation with someone. The worst part about all of this is that it’s the holiday season. Now I am not the happiest person this time of year anyway. But being alone does makes it all the more pissed. It’s been one of the worst years I have ever had. I find myself not knowing where and when life took the wrong turn. It’s like one moment I was well on my way with my career and love life. The next moment everything is going wrong. I do have a plan to make everything right. As a matter of fact I have a list. I am working on the list and getting a new job is number one on that list. Once that is done oh man look out, the items on the list will just start falling off. So once number one through three are taken care of I will be in a better position to have a much better love life. At least that is the plan. But as we all know when it comes to best laid plans. Hell I might go out tomorrow and run into my soul mate. Do I really think that will really happen? Hell no. but who am I to dictate where and when I meet someone?

It's been a slow week I guess.

2006-11-12T13:19:00.000-08:00

Ok so I have been a little under wraps lately. Mostly because nothing has really gone on lately. I have just been going to work and trying to really focus on trying to find another job. Yea so it’s been kind of a slow month so far. And to tell the truth I am so not too worried about it. I have an interview on the 15th and if it goes well I will have not only a new job. But I also will be on my way to getting my own place at the beginning of the year. I really can’t believe that this year is almost up. I mean damn it seems like just yesterday I was on a flight to Boston for another job interview. Or I had just gotten back in touch with someone that I though was really important to me. Yea well we grow up and get rid of the fairy tails. I have decided what I am going to do on my birthday. No matter what I am going to Las Vegas. I am going to do something I have never done before. I am going to pay for my room before I leave to go on my trip. And save up some money to go on vacation with. No more playing it by ear crap. I am going to pay for a room and get tickets for a show ahead of the time. But I do know that I am going to have four months to find a date to go with though. It’s not really all that big of a deal because I do have a back up friend to go with if I don’t find a date. So getting someone to go with is not a problem at all. Just how I am going to spend my nights will be the issue. LOL Yes yea I know I am sounding like a huge pervert that is only looking for some sex. But you know what if I am not dating anyone serious by that time. I am so going to be one hell of a horny f’ker. Birthdays come once years so I am for sure going to have as much fun as I can that one time a year. Time to get back to the work search until something else half as exciting comes up.

Halloween time

2006-11-02T11:03:00.000-08:00

Ok, I am over the whole feeling like an ass thing now. I have moved passed that and come to understand that while I should be sad for what is happing with this person. It doesn’t make up for the fact that she is who she is. So moving along now. Last week I was talking with Bronco (this is her name since she is a huge fan) and we are still trying to set up a date where we can go out. Damn nothing worst then having to fight each other schedules. For the most part she really is a nice girl. A big high strung but nice all together. Now I do love Halloween for the same reasons all men over the age of 16 do. We love to see the women coming out as Sexy whatever. Halloween is the time when women find it fun to let out there inner harlot. And as any red-blooded male I think it’s a great thing. Limo girl just sent me a picture of her costume. Damn I have seen her in her underwear but for some reason this sexy snow white costume was out of this world. I mean damn damn damn. I keep going back to it and looking. Maybe I might have to rethink the whole too much drama thing about her. There was another girl that worked at the same bar. I have wanted to talk with her more but just never had the nerves to do it. Well it seems she was thinking the same thing. So we exchanged numbers and it’s been interesting. She is a very smart girl and we are at the point where we are really trying to get to know each other. I think that is where I am at right now. I want to get to know a girl before I jump into anything with them. From now on I am going to put off the sex until I really get to know the girl. LOL yea yea I laughed at myself for even thinking that also. Yea well back to the fun fun times at work.

The Scum that I am.

2006-10-25T21:08:00.000-07:00

My god I don’t know how this happened but I am now lower than pond scum. As a matter of fact it would seem that I am the thing that scum wipe off their feet when the come in. Ok in my last post I was talking about a woman that I had met and that she turned into a insane drunk. Well today I come to find out that she has Cancer. Yes the person that I insulted has cancer. I never knew this but seems that she had skin cancer on her head. What better yet that it started bleeding the other night. And she had to go the ER and have it removed. I do have a friend that is also one of her friends now so she found out and told me. So I called her up to get the whole story. I decided to write her off as a drunk and be done with it. So yea I feel about an inch tall. So please no stepping on me when you walk by.

A mean Drunk

2006-10-24T21:58:00.000-07:00

So I’m guessing it’s time for an update. Things have been kind of busy as of late. Well the good thing about it raining is that it will always come again. One of the girls that I had met turned out to be not even close to what she seemed like. You might say she was a wolf in sheep’s clothing. She seemed all innocent and sweet but under it all was a mean drunk. Each and every time she called me or I called her she was either heading to the bar or leaving the bar. I mean unless she was at work she had a drink. I mean damn I like to drink but I keep it to the weekends. Damn can you say someone has a problem? I’m thinking yes sir. Now I have also been talking with another very nice girl that I met at the same time. For the most part she is a really nice person. After we got pass some of the ghetto speak things have been going great. LOL I do have to admit it was fun messing with her about it though. So things have been going great and I don’t really care about meeting crazies. I am just noticing a whole lot faster that they are crazy and leaving them behind. There are way too many good women out there to meet and get to know to deal with the insane ones. So life is going really well. I even had a job interview that seemed to go really really well. I should know within the next couple of days just how well it went. Until then talk to you all soon and now it is time to get into some trouble.

Hell let it Rain more and more

2006-10-11T01:07:00.000-07:00

My god I can’t believe just how busy I have been at work. I mean I don’t have any time to do anything else. Well let me catch everyone up on things. Well it seems that the old saying is beyond right. When it rains it pours. I have had more dates in the last two weeks then I have had all year. Now this is after the last date with the girl from the bar. These were all new girls that I have met one way or another. I met the first girl off of that evil evil thing Myspace. I don’t know there are days I hated making a profile then there are days that I loved that I did. I got an email from a girl telling me that she liked my profile and wanted to add me as a friend. After that we talked and talked. We decided to meet up for coffee and get to know each other better. It was a good day and I had a lot of fun sitting and talking with her. We ended it with a little kiss and the promise to make plans in the upcoming weeks. Well hell that is a great way to end a date. Now this might not be in order but I did meet another girl about the same time that the first girl emailed me. Now this girl works in my office complex. I ran into her at first at the fast food place by the office. I was walking out just as she was walking in. 5 minutes later I see her again in the complex. WE get to talking and emailing and IM all day on Friday. We are going out this weekend to get a couple of drinks and talk. Damn this hasn’t even been a full week yet. The next week I happen onto my yahoo personal and email this young lady that lives in the same city as I do. Well what I didn’t know is just how close she did live. She lives in the next complex over. She was cute and very smart. She just wasn’t really my type. But we had a good time and left it at that. Hell you can’t win them all. And you know something? At this point in the game I am just happy to meet nice girls and have a normal conversation. Now the girl from work and I are going to meet up Sat and see how that goes. After that I will maybe make plans with the first girl for a second date and see what she has going on. Now if I can get the rest of my life going in the right direction I will all the better. Be good everyone and try really try to stay out of trouble damn it.

The best night of the year

2006-10-03T23:07:00.000-07:00

Ok so I know I have been slacking big time lately. Now I have to let you in on some of the things that have been happing over the last couple of weeks. I’ve been a little busy so now it’s time to catch up a bit. The last real thing that I talked about was the girl that I found right in front of my eyes. Well we made a date for Thursday of last week. We made plans to go and see Cirque Du Soleil Delirium. This is one hell of a show and something I knew for a fact that she would love. I decided to make this is a hell of a great night. Now to do this I needed something special. So I decided to rent a limo for the night. I also wanted to make it really really fun. So my best friend and I made it into a double date. Now my best friend knows this girl also so it wasn’t like it was a car full of strangers. I got a hotel and had her meet me there. It was close to work so I didn’t go too far. She shows up looking really damn hot so I was more than impressed. When she shows up she didn’t see the limo so made her close her eyes and I walked her out to the car. You would have though it was Christmas the way her eyes lit up. At this point she tells me she has never been in a limo before. Now I know I just made some mad brownie points. I am the man for sure. We talked and had a great ride to pick up my friend and his wife. We got there and everyone was ready to go. We got into the limo and it was a nice fun ride to the concert. Everyone laugh and had a good time drinking. I was surprised by one thing the concert wasn’t sold out. This type of thing always sells out so I was really surprised that it wasn’t. But the show was great. Now the ride back was a little bit more interesting. It seems that the relationship that she had just gotten was a really bad relationship. That is if you could call it that. Seems there were a lot of feelings but not the kind that would good for either of them. But there were still a lot of scars there. So when I decided at that point that I was going to a gentleman and just have the limo take her home. I wasn’t going to be the type of guy to take advantage of a drunken girl. We still talk and she tells me how much fun she had at the show. Are we going out again? We will see what life has to show. But next story will be about the next date I had with a good girl or so I though. So until then everyone be good and life will take care of it self.

Adventures in Public Transportation

2006-09-19T10:25:00.000-07:00

Damn B, two post in two days you must have been busy. Well I have to tell you people I just had to write today. Since losing my car I have had to rely on public transportation to get around. Well that friends and rental cars. So the most adventure filled day was yesterday. Now the thing about catching a bus is that you have to leave early because they are never on time. They are either early, late or don’t come at all. You have got to love it and people wonder why we in California don’t take public transportation more. It’s too damn unreliable. Now to what I have noticed while taken the bus. I have notice that people in smaller cars think a bus can stop on a dime. Yesterday my bus almost ran over a smaller car because It though she could squeeze through and cut off the bus. Now I say almost because the back wheel of the bus was about to go up onto the hood of the car if people didn’t yell at the bus driver to stop. Yes the bus did hit the car and the funny thing about it the driver of the car got mad at the bus. Now I don’t know about anyone else but damn if you try to cut off a bus and you get hit in the process why the hell would you get mad? It’s your own damn fault. Yea she was upset that the bus didn’t let her pass and let her cut it off. OH by the way this is the first of two buses that I have to catch. Now the second bus was right in front of us when this all took place. So not only did my bus get into an accident my second bus decided that it was in too much of a hurry to stop and pick up the people that it knew were on the first bus. So boys and girls we had a choice wait for the next bus, walk up a couple of blocks and catch another bus or wait until they got all this cleared up and then continuing on this bus. Now remember what I said in the beginning the buses all run either late or early never on time. Well it would seem that the next bus was running early so we got on that one. OH how I love the human race.

Kick the Blind man for being Stupid

2006-09-18T10:30:00.000-07:00

I never knew this before but I am an idiot. A very very blind idiot at that. I have been bitching and moaning over dating but not noticing what is right in front of me. It would seem that I have a friend that has been interested in me for a while. But my silly butt didn’t see her as anything more than a friend. Well wait let me back up. I did see her as more than a friend but I though she was taken. And while I really never did ask her about it, I was missing out. Well after this week it seems like a few things have been cleared up. One she doesn’t have a boyfriend. The guy that I though was her boyfriend was just a “special” friend. And yes the special is what you think. But he didn’t want anymore from her and she wanted more. Second she has been into me for a while and just didn’t think I was interested in her that way. This might have been because I am too nice of a guy and once I though she had a man I backed off. Now at this point I know I should have maybe gave it a try and asked her out. I could have bypassed all the crap I have had to deal with over the last 9 months. I can not believe that I have been wasting my time chasing women that were so wrong for me. Between the girl that I knew had never been faithful in her life. To the girl that could talk a good game but in the end she was just as big a flake as anyone. Right in front of me is a girl that is low maintenance very cute and for the most part has her head on right. Our first date as something other than friends will be this weekend and I am looking forward to it. Now I am telling you I am not singing the wedding bell song at all. I am just amazed that I could overlook someone standing right in my face to try and find a relationship online or some other places. Just goes to show that sometimes the best things are staring you right in your face.

A short but sweet Rant

2006-09-11T10:55:00.000-07:00

Ok, so I was trying to think of what the hell I was going to write about this week. I am trying not to be too detailed about all the crap happens to me but it really has been a crap filled life since I last posted. I have had BS people come in and out of my damn life. Why can’t people just stop being so fake and just say what is on their mind? I can’t believe how I can find all the damn flakes. I am going on a rant because of these people and I don’t think I will be off my soap box in a while. I have no want or need to meet anyone else if this is what it is like. I think next time I fill in a online add it's just going to say. "I'm seeking someone that is not full of Crap to start with."

Where did it all go wrong.

2006-09-04T03:56:00.000-07:00

Well I have found out something very important about my life. What did I find out? That my life sucks big time. I also noticed that in my life I have had either one thing or another to take the place of a real life. I have either been a workaholic or in a relationship and they have taken the place of having a real life on my own. I have put either the job or the girlfriend in front of everything and they have replaced whatever was the missing part. I didn’t realize this until the last couple of days. At the moment I don’t really have either of those options to fall back on and it’s really hurting me. Both mentally and physically, I mean hell I am sick most of the time. I am drinking more than I have in a while. Hell depression can just wreak havoc on a person. It’s funny I can fake it really well while I am out with my friends but the moment I am alone again it’s like I am stuck in a bottomless pit. Now at this point all I can do is look back on my life and think of all the mistakes I have made. Hell I know now that some of the mistakes were of my own choosing but damn. Like they say hindsight is 20/20. I know I should have fought when I just gave up. At this point it’s all I can do to keep going. Well now that I have gotten that off my chest I should feel better but damn I don’t. oh well time to figure something else out.

Damn it back to the Trenches

2006-08-18T15:53:00.000-07:00

Ok its official I am a dork. It would seem that I have chased off another one and I am not really sure I know why. I mean what woman doesn’t like seven phone calls a day to say nothing or to see what she is doing? I mean what guy doesn’t look through a girl he likes window while she is dressing. I am very sure that she didn’t see me so it’s not like she knew I was there. I mean why should I let a little thing like a court order keep me away from the woman that I love?

Ok now that I have gotten that out of my system. I have got to tell you this has been the week from hell and I can’t believe that I survived it without going off the deep end. The reason for the rant above is that for some reason I date women that love to do a disappearing acts. Everything seems fine one moment then the next thing you know you never hear from them again. I mean I am the first person to say hey I have been really busy. But hey an IM or phone call just to respond to the IM you sent them 2 days ago would have been nice. As long as I have been dating and into the opposite sex, I don’t know why we can’t just put what’s going on out there. If you are not into the other person then act that way. Don’t just go through the motions of a date. I mean I have been on dates where I have said you know what this isn’t going to work. Or hell even to put a nice spin on it just make an excuse and make so that they know I am not interested. If I am interested in someone I have no problem telling them and I feel that both people should be on the same page. Oh well what can I say back to the bar, websites and markets to find the woman of my dreams.

Damn I hate dating.

2006-08-14T10:03:00.000-07:00

The one and only thing I will never in my life ever understand are women. I would really love to meet a female that not only tells you just what is on her mind but be honest about if she likes you are not. We men go through all this crap to try and impress you women and most of the time we have no idea if we are or not. I mean if you don’t like us then hell just say so or at the least act like you don’t like us. Don’t lead a guy on and then just avoid him. Ok as you can tell things are not all shiny and good over in gamer land. The girl that I was talking about in the last post “Seems” to be avoiding me for some unknown reason. Now it really could just be me over thinking the whole thing but it’s just funny that I have not heard from her since I asked her to go out with a couple of friends of mine and she said that she couldn’t because she was busy. Now I really should say that before we left each other on Friday she had mentioned that she was going to busy over the next two weeks because she is Graduating with her Masters. See this is my problem over the last year and half I have dated some of the craziest, insane nutjobs in the world. So I have become a little gun shy until things really get on solid ground. And before that I was in a relationship that just got too comfortable. So when you find a girl that you like and that seems to like you I am the type of guy that really wants to hold on to her. I mean damn this is the same woman that in the two times we have been together we have talked for about a total of about 8 hours. I mean we really did click and I would love to keep seeing her that is for damn sure. But I guess I am going to have to learn how to really date again because I am for sure not doing it right this way that is for damn sure. Damn I knew there was a reason that I hated dating.

Now this is Dating

2006-08-05T16:44:00.000-07:00

Now for something really different. The reason behind this blog is dating. I have not been dating much so I really haven’t put too much time into talking about it. But that has all changed. I told you all about the nightclub that I went to not too long ago. Well I did meet a nice girl there. We will call her MT; she is the most upfront girl that I have met in a while. The first night we were together we talked for about 3 hours straight. It’s great to find someone that you can not only talk to but that you have a really bond with. We had so much in common it was amazing. One of the funniest things was that she works in the same building and on the same floor that I use to work. It’s just one of the things that we talked about the first night. We just had our second date last night and I can’t stop thinking about her. We spent 5 hours of talking to tell you the truth it was an even better evening than the first. We really got to know each other our likes and dislikes. As of right now we are going to have fun and take thinks as they come. But for the first time in months I am enjoying dating again. Wow so this is what it means to be happy. I like it.

Momma what is Game?????

2006-08-02T10:41:00.000-07:00

Yea I know I know I am late with the update on just how the weekend went. It would seem that for the most part that is when all kinds of interesting crap happen to me. Take this past weekend for example. I was again placed on homeless leave since my “roommate” had family in town. So I spent most of last week trying to find a decent hotel that didn’t have blood on the walls and too may bums in the parking lot. So I call around and get different prices but nothing that I can afford for the 4 days that I am going to need the room. Then I find it a room and an area that isn’t all that bad. It’s near where I live so just how bad could it be. When Friday came along and I was going to check in I almost lost it. My god this place was worst than the worst. There is no way that I was going to stay in this rat hole for 4 days. So then I borrow my friend’s car and drive around trying to find some other hotel/motel that I stay in. All I have to say is Motel 6 is a wonderful place. Cheap clean rooms and there are so many around. So now I have a place to stay what the hell am I going to do with myself for the weekend? Well I had been reading about this night club by my place. From the stories it was an out and out meat market type of place. The kind of place you have only heard about in the blown out stories told in a frat house or locker room. Now this is the internet so I guess I only believed about half of what I read anyway. Well it turns out that this was the one time that the internet came through with the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth. Now I have always said that I am not the smoothest guy around. Yea I am not afraid to go up and talk to a girl or hit on a girl but more times than not I am going home alone and without a phone number. Friday night I think the only way for that to happen was for me to pass out in the parking lot. I was getting hit on left and right. And for me this is very very rare to be honest. And damn if I didn’t love every minute of it. Yea what guy wouldn’t? The crowd was a mix of people between 25 to about 40 years old and a good looking crowd to tell the truth. So I think that this is going to become the hang out to tell you the truth. Hell I might move in next door if I could have a night half as good as I did on Friday. Hell you know what I am going to stop right there since really nothing could have top the beginning of the weekend. Why go into the rest of it and take the image of all the fun times I had out of my own mind. Until something better happens and I can write about it I am off for now.

Living without Drama

2006-07-20T14:55:00.000-07:00

Man I don’t know if it’s a good thing or not but I can say that the last couple of weeks have been kind of boring. It’s good because for now there is no drama and no one wants to have drama in their lives. But I did happen to have something kind of funny happen to me this week. When I was growing up it could be said that I had a lot of friends. Now what I mean is I had a lot of people that I use to hang out with. But I only had a couple of really good friends. Now one of my really good friends was “spanky”. Now I call her Spanky just because that will be her name. LOL Well I was in target shopping for you know the crap that people need to live. Well I am picking up some deodorant so that I don’t smell like the local bum. When I see this little girl knocking stuff off the rack. LOL you know just trying to show off in front of her mother not being bad really but still. So I made the “joke” oh you are just making a mess aren’t you? Then the mother looks at me and says what’s your name? So I told her my first name and then she told me my last name. OH my god it was Spanky. I have not talked or seen Spanky for over 15 years. Oh my god I couldn’t believe this. Now California is a huge state and Los Angeles is a bigger city then most people will ever been in. Once you lose touch with someone it’s really hard to even hope to meet up with them again. It’s even harder if you don’t have any of the same people in common. Now I have moved about no less than 5 times since last I talked with spanky. So this is one of the last people I expected to run into. We traded numbers and plan on really catching up. But from the few little moments that we had to talk I found out that she has 3 kids. I knew about one so that is how I knew just how long it’s been since I had seen her. She has been married and now she isn’t and the youngest kid has a different father than the rest. I so have to get the rest of this story because I am sure I am going to be laughing about how this all happened.
The other major thing to happen to me this week was a date. I kind of like this girl. We have never been out together so this will be fun. I go to her bar sometimes and we laugh and have fun together. Now this was going to be a Block party over by my best friends place. This is going to be a lot of drinking and me being picked on because that is what my best friend’s family loves to do. They pick on me mostly because of the fact that I can’t find a steady female to settle down with. This young lady is very nice but I have to say a little out of control when she gets to drinking. Which for the most part I wouldn’t have any problem with. But this time I think that it kind of bit me on the ass this time. Oh it’s bad when you go somewhere where everyone there is drinkers. It’s one of the great things that I love about my buddy’s family. They party and party hard. Well it would seem that when I wasn’t looking. Mostly during the pay per view fight that was on. The ladies of the family started taking shots with their friends Jose, Johnny and JD. Oh wow it was fun to watch and I know if the booze wasn’t flowing it might have been a different end to the night. LOL oh well we are making plans to go somewhere else and have a real date. LOL we will see how that goes.

What did you say?

2006-07-11T15:23:00.000-07:00

Ok after the last ultra serious post I had to come back with something just a little bit more lighthearted. I have a good friend that works at a hospital in the urgent care. Now she is the person that checks people in and fills out the paperwork. She tells me of an incident that happen a couple of weeks ago. It would seem that this woman comes in that very high maintenance. She has fake everything, nails, hair, boobs and anything else that you can buy and put on a female. So my friend has to get all her info so that she can be treated. So my friend asks “So what are you here for today?” She says she has a urinary tract infection. Well ok lots of women get this and it’s nothing out of the ordinary. So since this is this woman’s first time here she has to fill out the info forms. As this is happening the two nurses in the room start to ask questions. “So why do you think you have a UTI?” and with a straight face this woman says “oh it’s an occupational hazard.” LOL my friend lets this slide since this It’s been a long day and plus she also thinks that she heard her right. And would you want to ask that follow up question? Now my friend just goes about her day and she has to input all this info of the day into the computer. When she comes upon the information form of the fake woman she reads it over to make sure everything is correct on it. As she is reading it she stops and has to read it a few times over. Because this woman has put under occupation “Hooker”. Not self-employed, not actress nothing to clean it up even a little bit just hooker. Wow I can only guess that she is really really proud of what she does and doesn’t mind who knows about it.

On a serious note

2006-07-07T11:48:00.000-07:00

This has been an interesting week. I have been trying all week to put into words about my weekend. On one hand I had a very good weekend and it could have been fun. Had a few funny things happen to me so this post would have been funny. Then again I also had a few other things go not so well. So this post will be about that instead. I need to get this off my chest. I went to visit my parents this weekend. Now I love my parents with all my heart but it’s getting harder and harder when I visit them. My Mother has MS, Multiple Sclerosis. She has had it for about 20 years at this point. It’s very very hard to watch my mother who at one point was a very active woman degenerate into a bedridden woman. It’s too the point where my Mother is maybe 90 pounds if a pound. She has no control over her body. It’s a chore for her to talk and My Father has to feed her for the most part. I remember the fun we use to have going camping, to the park or even just going out for a drive. I sat down and had Dinner with them and my Father noticed that I got kind of upset watching my mother eat. It really did upset me to sit back and watch this and not say something. Mostly because at this point she only has about 10% of control over her left hand. If she was left handed this wouldn’t be all that big of a deal but since she is right handed it’s all but useless. She can’t grab a fork or bring the food up to her mouth even though she tries. It’s really hard to watch her and even see that this is the same woman that I grew up with. It just makes me wish I could be a better person and not let it effect me as much as it does. I do cherish the time that I have my parents and just having them here. It just makes it sad sometimes never knowing when and if that call will come in saying that she is no longer with us. To be the eldest son is hard sometimes that is for damn sure.

Oh to be happy again.

2006-06-26T11:58:00.000-07:00

You know what I so have to count myself very very lucky these days. I have been talking with friends and it would seem that I don’t have it all that bad really. Yea my love life is MIA with no hope of being found. But I have to say that I am not that worried about finding it any time soon. I am focusing more on my career at this point and will let the love life work it out on its own.
Last week was a very interesting week for me. It would seem that the career might be back on track soon. Like I said in the last two postings I have been on about three interviews and talked with 3 or 4 companies about positions with them. One position I didn’t get but I did get a lower position with them. It’s not what I was looking for but it’s an opportunity to get in and show what I have and then get promoted. The job doesn’t start till the end of July so I have at least a month to wait for this position to start. Another position also came up and I started interviewing for it and it’s looking very very good. This position would be for a lot more money and a much better position and it’s not starting at the bottom and working up. It’s starting at a good pay and it’s still working in my field. I am happy about this and it’s great to be in this position. I also just got another call from a guy with a huge video game publisher wanting to talk to me about a position. I am telling you when it rains it pour. Just two weeks ago I didn’t know what I was going to do or if I even really had any options. As of right now I have a few options and I see a light at the end of the tunnel. And this time the light isn’t a damn train heading my way. Right now it would seem like I am in a good place in life. Not the best place but not the worst place either. Now lets see how things go over the next couple of weeks and we if my hair becomes any grayer.

Living up to my Idol

2006-06-20T11:24:00.000-07:00

What a slow and uneventful week it has been. About the most exciting thing that has happened to me this week is finding a ten dollar bill on the way home the other day. I am in no way shape or form complaining. It’s been a long time coming that I have really nothing to worry about. Also believe me things have not gotten better, I have just come to realize that life will go on and that there is not a damn thing I can do about it. I can try my best to live it to the fullest. Deal with the things that I can deal with and let the world take care of the things that I can’t control. This “Zen” moment came to me while getting my ass kicked by my friends for the pity party that I was throwing for myself. It was an eye opener for sure. This is going to last for a few days or until the end of July which ever I can hold out for. I was reading something in another blog about how much this guy drinks and how he feels afterwards. Yes Friendly I am talking about you. Well as I am reading this I start to see myself in some of the things that he is saying. Like drinking and then just having the need to go. Not really go somewhere just go. I have done this a few times. Most of the time I just go grab some food and think about at what point the beer I was drinking became toxic. Oh yea and why the hell did I have that fourth wet pussy? It’s a drink very sweet but I just love telling the waitress that I want that damn drink. LOL But I do have to say that for the most part I have not passed out and not remembered how I got home or what happened. I think the closest I have come to something like that is going to one of my Christmas parties for work. One of the lucky parts is that I was staying at the hotel where the party was. And the other was that I wasn’t the drunkest one there. Yea I remember saying I have to go and heading to the elevator. Next thing I remember is getting to my floor and trying to remember what the hell my room number is. After that I wake up on my bathroom floor and I have no clue what happened in the middle of all that. Yea that is my black-out story Friendly I have nothing on you, you are still my idol. LOL

What are the Lotto numbers??

2006-06-16T16:27:00.000-07:00

Why is it when it rains it pours? There is never a happy medium to how a life can go. My last post I was just in the dumps and ready to just lose it and go on a rampage. That was about two weeks ago. As of right now not much has changed but I am feeling a bit better. The reason that I am feeling better is that the loser tattoo on my forehead seems to be fading. Within the last week and a half I have had three interviews, one recruiter called me to see if I was interested in a position in Canada. I would have to say that this is a good week when it comes to opportunities. At least in my head these are all good things. I am going to stick with that and keep myself sane.
Now the other thing that has been going kind of well is women. Why the hell is it that women find me most appealing when I can’t do a god damn thing about it? Hell I have been having women flirting, coming on to me. Hey this could all be in my mind but damn the amount of phone numbers I have gotten lately would say it’s not. The coffee shop that I go to the young lady behind the counter has really become very friendly over the last couple of times I have been there. Also as of two days ago I now have a date. I am thinking of going on a bike ride to the beach. Hell no need for a car for that and I live close enough that I can pull this off. Oh damn maybe this is a turn for the better. I do have to say something. I can’t believe Los Angeles public transportation sucks beyond measure. My god I can’t believe that there are people like this outside of some strange sitcom on TV. Well let’s see there was the woman with a bible that was thumbing it at people as they got on the bus. Which to tell the truth it didn’t really bother me until she saw a building with the words “out of the closet” on it. Now let me tell you about LA. I would say we have a very huge gay community. Now the gay community has a “goodwill” type of store where they sell things like old clothes and things to help raise money for people that are sick. I for one think that is great and anything that you can do to help others it great. I can only guess that this woman knew that what this store was about and wanted to show the build what it was like to read the bible. The sad part about this she wasn’t one of the stranger people that I ran into that day. There were the 3 guy guys that dressed like they were going to the gay pride parade. Then there was the class of special Ed guys I am guessing going home from a school trip. Or the two of the special Ed kids making out in the front of the bus. Then there was the guy that may have been all of 25 but you could only tell the drugs have made his brain into Swiss cheese so badly that his body is no useless. And the worst part of all this, most of these people found that there was a need to come and sit by me and try to talk to me. On a bus I am mad enough that I have to use it. I really don’t want to talk to anyone and really not to someone that just escaped from Joker’s house of cast-offs. Oh man let me hit those lotto numbers and soon.

oh when you go to one bar too much

2006-06-12T03:34:00.000-07:00

Wow, a week without blogging I am going through withdrawals. I don’t know how this happened but it did. Wait I do know how it happened, I drink way too much. At least I go to the bar way too much that is. What is too much? Maybe it’s when you have more than 2 of the waitress’s phone numbers and they are the ones that telling you the call. After the last couple of weeks this is a much needed boost to the ego I can tell you that. I have been focused on finding a job and getting out of the hell that is my life. Hell getting out of LA really isn’t that bad of an idea either. But if I do happen to find a job in LA I am not going to pass it up that is for damn sure. I do have on lead for Canada and if that comes thru I am so there and will be talking with a French Canadian accent soon. But what the hell I hear those Montreal women are very hot. LOL I am going to go into more detail about my week later time to get some sleep and forget about all the booze I just drank.

another week in limbo.

2006-06-04T15:01:00.000-07:00

Well I have come back. I am back to say just how life has got to be some kind of cruel joke. While nothing huge has happened since last I posted it hasn’t gotten any better either. Everything that I though about the management of the company that I know work for is beyond my dreams. It’s so much worst then I could ever though. I have this “kid” that has a little bit of power so he thinks that he can be the biggest dick that he can. He had the nerve to say and I quote. “Because I said so, and that should be the only reason you need”. Now the reason behind him saying this is since we had to move into another room we moved the desk around to have a better fit of things. Now last I checked the youngest person in that room was 22 and none his kids. So the matter that he thinks he can speak to us like that, I know I am not long for this company. The good news about this though is I talked to two of my headhunters and I have a couple of leads on some jobs. Also looking to either move to Texas or Florida depending on where I can find a job. We will have to see how things go and if I can keep from telling these idiots what I think of them and to kiss my ass.

Nothing good comes for nothing

2006-05-30T07:19:00.000-07:00

Wow what a weekend. I would have to say that this weekend was one for the record books. I would have to say that the one think that I really have going for me is my friends. They come through when I really need them. This weekend started off with me leaving work and going to my favorite Bar to get drunk and forget about the hell that is life. This was good and something that I really needed. While I am at the bar my best friend calls me and asks me if I want to go to the UFC fight. Now I have never been to one of these fights but hell why not it might be fun. I have to say that this was a great night. Lots of drinking and the amount of eye candy was amazing. There were so many fake boobies out there and cleavage showing it would make any man happy. I even met a couple of cool girls that live near by and got their numbers. Now this is a good night. Sunday I didn’t really do anything because another friend called me up and said they had tickets to the Angels baseball game. Now I am not really a big fan of baseball but when he told me where the seats were I had to go. Seems his job gave a few people Suite tickets. This meant free food and drinks. We were sitting right next to the Angels Dugout. Right behind the batters circle. Hot damn what great game and what great food and drinks. As a matter of fact what a great weekend at this point. Now by now you must be wondering why my title seems a little bad. Well after the game it seems that things were on the down swing. As we were approaching my apartment the whole neighborhood is in a black out. Very nice this is what I wanted to come home to. Ok so that is nothing that bad. But I haven’t had a real job in about a year. I have been looking and going on interviews but nothing has come of them. So I had to make a choice, either have a place to live or pay my car note and live in that. I chose to have a place to live and live with them coming to get my car. Well after a great and wonderful weekend I wake up at 4 am to the sound of my car alarm. Well the time had run out on my luck and I now have lost my car. So I am without a car in a town where you can’t get anywhere without one. At this point I am just waiting for the other shoe to drop and my life goes totally into the toilet. Now this really is a great start to the summer. I think I am just going to crawl under a rock now and wait for the rest of the world to go to the Shyter.